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My husband and I have not lived together in 6 months, he has been involved in a long distance relationship.

Two weeks ago he called me and said that when it comes to sex he only wants me, I know how to please him. He talks to his long distance person daily, however its me he is sleeping with every night. I feel like I am used, I love my husband and am hoping to reconcile but how long can I deal with this, if his long distance person comes to town where does that leave me? He is with me at night, we don't go out, we sit on different ends of the couch if we watch tv, but when the bedroom door closes it is OMG and I mean OMG. I get what I need he gets what he needs. Kids thinking we are back together. advice please.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I couldn't have sex with my ex-husband at the end of our relationship because I knew yes, he wanted it, but I didn't have a loving or emotional connection to him anymore. Men can separate sex & emotion and women have a hard time with it. I didn't want to send him mixed signals when the relationship was over and I was trying to move on (already had emotionally).

    In your case, I would think that continuing sex is going to be hurtful to you later because you love him...but it doesn't sound like his emotions are on the same page as yours. I'd stop the sex and tell him that either you are working on your marriage together, just the two of you, or there is no marriage and he can have his other chick and you're done with him.

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:56 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • You're pretty much sabotaging yourself. If he's using you for sex and you are using him for sex that is all that will be there. In the end once his long distance girl becomes more accessible you will be left. with out a doubt. You need to buckle down, close your legs, and demand counseling and for him to give you guys an honest chance, which means no more contact with the mistress. if he can't then you need to show yourself more respect and kiss his ass good bye.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 6:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • This is not fair to you or the kids! He wants his cake, ice cream, balloons & the party hat! He is emotionally involved w/ another woman. That's still cheating! He needs to cut off all contact w/ her & focus on you & your family. Insist on counseling. Otherwise, you are going to cause emotional trama to the kids if he keeps coming to you for booty calls. (Not to mention playing w/ your emotions as well.) He either cuts her off, or you cut him off. (Not literally- lol) Good luck to you all. (I hope it works out for the best)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • i wouldnt put up with it. tell him the other bitch has to go or he has to go.

    Answer by koensmom22 at 6:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • what started things going sideways in the begining? is there any common ground, besides sex? where the friendship go? how is he towards you when you talk to him? do you ask him about his day and other normal things?

    Answer by tamithy at 6:24 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • First no more sex second sit down and ask him if wants to be with you and how its going to be accomplished? Afteryou should start to figure out what you want from your life and make it happen it seems like he is trying to have his cake and eat it, time to make a choice for him her or you? GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:27 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • you need to quit the sex and work on the other aspects of your marriage. Ask if he is willing to try counseling

    Answer by MommySwiggles at 7:29 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • wow, I can say that you are a much stronger person than many of us. I just found out that my husband hired an escort while he was overseas, and it feels like a crack in the planet...I can not put it past me. All I think about is him with someone else. Obviously this has not happened to you, but I truly admire you...I have no desire to continue with him, even though I am still in love with him...
    good luck to you

    Answer by sueoct04 at 7:48 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Get a lawyer

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:17 PM on Oct. 23, 2010