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Can I ask for an honest answer, even if it is harsh?

Please tell me the truth. I am a first time mom of a 5 month old. I stay at home. I have no car, no friends or family close by. I get NO sleep (baby is a horrible sleeper), and my husband works all day. I feel so bored and unmotivated. I dont want to cook or clean or do anything. I feel sad and lonely and like everyday is exactly the same. I try to take walks but that only lasts so long. There is only so many different activities I can do with my baby since she cant walk, crawl or talk. I feel trapped and depressed. Tell me the truth, am I just being lazy? Do I just need to suck it up and be a mom or is this normal?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Oct. 29, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (49)
  • i think if you dont have anyone to talk to and no friends or family etc that your not being dramatic, thats not fun at all! you will drive yourself crazy... try and meet some new people see if yur dh will take you out sometimes maybe once a week or something, you need some time outside of the four walls that is holding your house up with some adults. :) good luck hun

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Normal for me. I went throught the same feelings and emotions. Don't let it get you down. Things will change. The baby will get older,school, b day parties, holidays. It will pass. Good Luck.

    Answer by jareda69 at 4:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Sounds like you are suffering post partum depression. Talk with your doc and hope you feel better. I went through the same thing.

    Answer by Christiansmommi at 4:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • You might want to talk to your Doc about depression.....its very common in women, Espeacially with your 1st born.

    Answer by njjmommy46706 at 4:41 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • you aren't being lazy, but you do need to suck it up. motivation is in your mind and you do have the power to pull yourself up. start by adressing the reasons your child is such a bad sleeper and look to solve that problem first. the rest is likely to follow. I would also ask hubby to help you and let you sleep on the weekends. lack of sleep is quite destrucvtive.
    your baby won't be a lump for long.

    Answer by teri4lance at 4:42 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • You should relax and take a deep breath. You should not be depressed, you can find chat buddies on cafemom. You should clean up I used to be that way but I pick two days out of the week that I really clean and all of the other days I tidy up(wash dishes, vacuum, and all of that other stuff. Contact me if you want to talk.

    Answer by vroberts3677 at 4:45 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Well, yes. You do have to suck it up. You have to pack up baby and develop a whole new life. That is going to be hard. You are not experiencing new feelings, most women feel some sort of loss at losing their freedom and friends. But, you can make things better by taking an active role in your life instead of getting in the habit of sitting around feeling down.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 4:46 PM on Oct. 29, 2008


    Answer by mamamac5 at 4:46 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I do also agree that you may be suffering from post partum. Make sure you are getting enough sleep and exercise. Sleep whenever baby sleeps.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 4:49 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • You are not a bad mom, or lazy, but you need to find some sort of motivation and something to do!! It's hard without a car, but can you get a bus pass? Join a moms group somewhere? The hardest part is starting out.
    Try searching cafemom for groups in your area and invite a few as friends. Check out your local churches to see if they have a weekly moms group that meets there. You need to get active in finding something to look forward to, or each day tends to melt into the next and you can get pretty depressed.
    First, start off by making yourself take a shower, get dressed, and a little makeup EVERY day. You will be surprised how much that improves your outlook on everything else!!

    Answer by christyg at 4:50 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

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