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Spare the rod spoil the child?

I know this question has probably been asked HUNDREDS of times, but humor me; I haven't seen it.

How do you feel about it? Based on how I grew up and how kids these days are growing up, I agree with sparing the rod spoils the child. Sparing the child any kind of discipline spoils them, making them feel that they can do anything they damn well please.

I was spanked as a child. There were times my ass was beat so hard I couldn't sit down. When I became too old for spankings, I'd just get yelled at (and at this point, I'd learned how to do the "thousand yard stare" many learn in boot camp) becoming paralyzed from the neck down (psychosomatic, I know). At one point, my mother decided to punch me in the chest knocking the wind out of me.

Did I learn? You bet your ass I did. Will I do to my child what my mother did to me? I won't be nearly as violent, that's for damn sure; that actually s


Asked by _Tam_ at 12:14 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 30 (42,083 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I spanked, you bet your sweet patootie. But my children KNEW how to behave in public. Now, I just laugh at all the moms who count and their children are running wild.

    It's their problems, not mine.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:23 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • children dont learn from being hit they learn to fear you. Maybe you should actually read the bible verse that people famously quote of spare the rod spoil the child. it has nothing to do with spanking and everything to do with guidence. If you spare the rod, as in the the staff that the shepheard holds, then yes your child will be spoiled. Guide your child and you will not have to hit them as thats abuse

    Answer by meagan678 at 12:18 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I don't think the "rod" is necessarily speaking of physical punishment. It's a metaphor for discipline. And yes, I think if you skip over the discipline part of raising your children they will rotten... Now, does that mean you need to cane them? No, of course not. Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes and all forms, just like children do. Now, I spank, I'm all for it, and personally I think more people should. But, I also think there is a point where things cross from discipline to abuse, and that can be a razor thin line, so I don't believe it should be the ONLY form of discipline...

    Point is, yes, I'm a firm believer in the "spare the rod, spoil the child" way of thinking. However, I don't think this way of thinking gives someone the right to beat their kid either.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:56 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • My husband and I argue about this one all the time. If there has been a serious infraction I will spank, but on the whole I think that spanking is not the answer. My 20 month old keeps climbing to the top of the bunk beds. His solution is to spank her every time she does it. She will learn not to do it. No she will learn you are an ass. I asked how many times he was going to spank her before he decided it wasn't working. I tell her no and remove her from the room. She is usually in there because I have not put the baby gates back up.

    My father spanked me. It didn't teach me not to do things. It taught me how to get away with things without him finding out and that he was a complete asshole. It taught me to fear getting in trouble and made me not try things because I was afraid of getting hit. I don't want my children growing up that way.

    Answer by kerijeanbean at 11:35 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I completely agree that sparing discipline will lead to an undisciplined child. However, I don't think discipline by default means spanking. And 'spare the rod and spoil the child' is often used out of context, in the sense that the shepherd uses the rod to GUIDE the sheep- not to smack them around! I was spanked growing up- always because my mom was pissed off at the time. I didn't really learn anything other than to watch out for mom because she was moody and irrational. Never having seen spanking used in a consistant, termpered manner, I decided not to use it with my kids... and yet the kids are well behaved, good, well mannered kids. I do discipline them, but I choose not to use physical punishment, and so far it has worked very well for our family.

    Answer by Freela at 12:39 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I can understand where ur coming from but with the recent child abuse cases I recently read about on Facebook 4 causes it makes me NEVER want to lay a hand on my children~ but yes~ they should I believe have their butt's tore up if they cant follow directions!

    Answer by sparkle0940 at 12:19 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • yeah i totally agree all these little brats ruining around it just makes me think my mom would of beat my ass for that why the hell that my mom just sitting there and doing anything but wondering why her kid is a bad ass

    Answer by Paigesmommy78 at 12:20 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Read this:

    it's not too long and at the end there is an interesting point


    Answer by MommyH2 at 12:21 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • totally depends. for MY son- he's not spoiled. i mean, he might be- but he also has the discipline, manners and respect that other 5 years olds dont have. if he loses those "core values" (the things that make him- shape him into an adult), then best believe that he wont be spoiled- he'll be down to the bare minimum. but i'm also not afraid to use my hand on his butt, if need be.

    for example: he went into some guy's house with my 5 year old sister. he KNOWS not to do this because 1) it passed the boundary that we had lined out and 2) he knows about stranger danger... but he did it- and even though i KNOW he did it because of my sister (she needs the rod!), he learned more about stranger danger/going into people's houses AND not to be the follower- be the leader!

    my sister (5) is the one that takes the keys, starts the car and locks it so people cant get in... or runs off in the middle of the road- while mom LAUGHS!

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 12:36 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Iwas a good kid. My kids were good too. They were honest and kind and listened to parents and teachers. ANd they were never spanked so hard tha they could not sit down. I was polte and quiet and respectful and kind. In fact I was never spanked. My kids would get a tap on the butt, with my hand,not a weapon....
    I disagree with you OP.

    Answer by kerp1960 at 1:09 AM on Oct. 24, 2010