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2 Bumps

i want another baby. but i promisedmy mom i would wait til i went back to school

the more i think abt it ..wht if i go to school.. then get pregnant.. i knw i would want to sahm with the baby.. go back to work when its school age.. my ds is 3 ..i have all these mixed emotions bc.. if i had a baby now im already home with my son... my mom helps me out with money alot.. so i do think she has the right to have some input.. i did get pregnat in oct.2009 lost the baby jan 2010..so in a way i felt like my oppurtunitie to have a baby was stolen from me. when i had the miscarriage i went on the patch then i had the shot.. switched from the shot and just started the pill tues.i did tell my mom if i get pregnant and i take the pill every day.. it was meant to be. im constantly having fantasies in my head abt having another in my late 30's. im 28 now. i want to go back to school when my son is in kindergarden.. but i think daily abt long ill have to wait to complete my family. i my nt sure what to do with myself?

Answer Question
 
Rydersmommy616

Asked by Rydersmommy616 at 1:00 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 14 (1,405 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If you can't afford the child you have now, then wait. There is always time for another baby, but you need to be able to support him/her.

    LeanneC

    Answer by LeanneC at 1:08 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Since you have strong feelings of having more children you should really discuss it with your SO. Best to have him onboard along with you. I'm sure you would feel better about whatever you two decide whats best for your family for the time being. You still have time too, so its not like you will have to make a complete decision RIGHT now. Ya know?! Good luck though! =)
    mommy_bink

    Answer by mommy_bink at 1:08 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • If your mom is helping you financially then wait until you can afford a baby. I understand the WANT to have another child but think about the baby for a minute and the child you already have.  What kind of life can YOU provide for them now and what kind of life could you provide in the future.

    onemellowmom

    Answer by onemellowmom at 1:17 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Why aren't you and baby daddy taking care of the kid? If you were self supporting your mommy wouldn't have an input on your decision to procreate.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:28 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • very true ladies. and babies cost money.. i knw that if i had a baby right now it would be for selfish reasons.. that s why i will take the pill every day.. .. i just feel kinda robbed bc of the miscarriage...
    Rydersmommy616

    Comment by Rydersmommy616 (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • You still have time to be a mommy again =) Wait till you're in a place where you're more secure financially and then you won't feel so guilty when you do get pregnant. Plus the added stress of more financial strain won't allow you to enjoy motherhood as much as you could if you were not relying on your mom and on your own. You'll feel so much better when you've finished schooling as well. =)
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 1:36 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • we are supporting our son dnt get me wrong. but im very grateful that my mom does help us sometimes. when i got pregnant with my son my husband was makin really good money.90 grand a year... now since the recesiion things have changed.. ALOT. we make less the 30 grand for sure now.. my mom helps bc she wants to.. she helps with my sons clothes shoes...she will sometimes bring by groceries if things are really bad.. my dh works off commission so our income is never stable. not alwys bad though . it could be 600 for 2wks for 3000 for 2wks.. thats why i want to go back to school.. so i can provide something more stable into our family
    Rydersmommy616

    Comment by Rydersmommy616 (original poster) at 1:39 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I would say that if you have to depend on your mother that much, chances are it's not a good time. It's a really good thing though that you are thinking this through. Lots of people wouldn't. I see so many girls on here who want to have a baby, just because it's a whim. But, I feel that if you not supporting yourself 100%, it's selfish to bring a child into it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • i think thats what i needed to hear nanixh thank u for your kind words of wisdom ... i will enjoy motherhood much much more.. when i can just be more financial stable.. and i want to enjoy my next child
    Rydersmommy616

    Comment by Rydersmommy616 (original poster) at 1:46 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I know exactly how u feel. My husband and I decided to TTC for #2 back in 2004 b4 I started nursing school. Got pregnant the first month (Sept) and had a MC in Nov. Hubby and I were devestated. But soon after my husband who also works off commisions started losing a lot of business. Our income was cut in half and I was in school full-time so we decided to wait. I graduated in 2008 with my BSN and then had an oppertunity to go back to school again for my WHNP and I decided to just do it and put off TTC again until at least May 2011. It's HARD! When I find out friends and co-workers are pregnant it's bitter sweet. I am so happy for them but my heart aches b/c I want another baby so bad! IK it's for the best but I still count down the days! My advice is to start looking into schools and making plans for that. Maybe devise a time-line of goals to acomplish. Anything to keep your mind occupied! GL momma!
    ValerieRNmom

    Answer by ValerieRNmom at 2:04 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

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