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Is your SO a workaholic?

Just wondering if there are any other moms out there whose SO spends more time at work than at home. I often find it funny and sad at the same time when I hear other moms say that they can't make a playdate because their husbands have a day off and they're going to spend the day as a family. That doesn't really happen often around here - my husband works so much that when he does have down time, he spends it relaxing. (And our active toddler is hardly relaxing, so I often have to take him out so the house would be quiet.)

Don't get me wrong - I'm thankful that we're financially stable. But it makes me sad sometimes that my husband isn't as into this family thing. He gets excited about work stuff and will boast about it to other people, but you'd hardly hear him speak the same about me or his son. Anyone else feel like their SO's work is higher priority than you and your child?


Asked by phoofy at 2:00 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,655 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My Dad, good provider. He just didn't know how to have a relationship with his children. He was smart, in demad to travel around the world. Which he did. He left when I was 8.Returned when I was 17 1/2yr old. His loss. That was until I went to work. I too became a workaholic. I was obsessive with it. Going to work before the sun's up & returned around 10 or 11 at night. It's by the grace of God my husband didn't cheat or leave me.My boss & I use to see who could show up first, leave last until one night i said, "I wonder if on my death bed I'm going to be saying "Gee, I forgot to get that memo sent out?" I will be alone because I never took the time to create memories with my family. She never came in before 8am & only stayed until 5pm after that. Me, I had to have a mental breakdown first. I still have to fight myself to relax & enjoy being with my husband. 30yrs & I love him very much. Just enjoy working too. Hope it helps u

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 3:13 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I can relate. My DH is a fireman and he takes every bit of OT he is offered. He has been gone for his second 9 day straight run and will be home (maybe) in the morning. I also appreciate the financial aspect but feel your pain about the lack of family pride ect. ((hugs))

    Answer by blessedwithree at 2:20 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • yes he is but not by his choice. He is military, so he does what they tell him to, when they tell him to. I am positive that he would rather be home with me right now, instead of out on the ship.

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:02 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Right now DH is working 6 days a week, because we just lost our full time employee and haven't found someone to fill the position at the shop. Thankfully we're closed on Sunday, so we make sure to spend time as a family doing some kind of activity. The boys miss their dad all week and can't wait till Sundays.

    Answer by dmbutler at 2:07 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • See, that's why I feel alone. I envy the fact that your husbands would rather spend their downtime with your families. He'd rather spend his on the couch watching TV. I feel bad complaining about it to him, because after working a 100+ hour week, he's more than entitled to relax in his own home. (And we've already been over the whole "he works so much so he could provide for his family" bit - but the thing is, he's always been a workaholic, and for the 11 years I've known him, he'd work as much even if we didn't have a child to raise.)

    Comment by phoofy (original poster) at 2:15 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Yes. My DH is a vice principal. He works all the time and would work even more if I let him. He probably averages about 60hrs/ week, on top of that he's getting a doctorate. So he's either working or if he's home, he's sleeping. He is always tired. I work, too so it's not like he's the sole supporter. He knows how I feel about it and he tries to work less, but now with his school program it's back to being busy all the time. I think this is just the way he is. I signed up for it, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it.

    Answer by danielp at 3:07 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • My SO used to be a workaholic but when he got laid off he realized he was not indispensable to his company and he realized that family comes first. He started to get interested in the kids and coached sports' teams, etc. They really didn't know him before that. Being laid off was one of the best things that ever happened to him. From then on he still worked a lot, BUT he was able to reach a better balance with family life.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:57 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Yes...he is a Beta tester for a video game company and sometimes gets too involved in work but I deal... well at least he is home and not out hiding from the family or home life...

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 4:52 PM on Oct. 24, 2010