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18 Bumps

THIS IS NOT A BEG FOR BUMPS - in order to wrap my head around this and see if this is REALLY making me a bad parent, please please read this and IF....IF this statement which I feel with all my heart and soul makes me a GOOD parent - tell me by bumping this question - going anon so no credit will be given to me for it. Please! I need to know!

I love my children with all my heart and soul and there is NOTHING I won't do for them - including lay down my life for them. I would die if it was the only way they could live. In a heartbeat. I would go hungry - for them to eat. I have done this. I would go without in order for them to have. I have done this too. I would take the blame/embarrassment/shame in order to shield them from being hurt. I have done this also. I would go to jail or even prison (not for a crime they committed) but if that is what it took to keep them safe from someone who abuses them. I did this last summer.
There is nothing, NOTHING that I won't do in order to ensure their life, safety and true happiness. Nothing. If you think this makes me a GOOD parent - please show me support. I need it right now. Please bump this question and join me in loving and supporting our kids! I make a special prayer/wish (all religions included) for them!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:39 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • IT HAVE ME 8 MISCARRIAGES BEFORE I WAS ABLE TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER. SO I DEFINITELY CAN RELATE. WE DO THE BEST WE CAN THAT'S IT AND THAT'S ALL. SOUNDS LIKE A MOM WHO TRULY CARES ABOUT HER CHILDREN......GOD BLESS YOU
    roxannschild

    Answer by roxannschild at 3:28 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • well you do got to take care of yourself, as well, or you won't be around to help them anymore. You aren't any good to them dead or in jail.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 4:48 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • but don't you see that if you went to jail, their dad and his wife (both abusers) would get care of the child ????? I've been in that situation....I fought tooth and nail...I kept my children home from visits, but I did it with consent of the court....I asked that they allow for a full investigation in the best interest of my children....and after a social worker became involved the court agreed that visitation must be supervised....I did everything I could to make sure he never had my children alone....and I did it within the law because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that man would get full custody of the children if I went to jail.....
    as for the clothing...absolutely, children first....as for food and starvation,....there are ways for you to both eat....as for laying your life down for you child....i just can't imagine a situation where you'd have to...I suppose if a situation existed I absolutely would.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • i say that you are a good mom, but i can see how the courts would want to assess you. i'd just bring in all of the information- the documents of the abuse, and show them proof on why you have this overprotectiveness... b/c if her own father is hurting her- it opens the possibility for ANYONE to hurt her... in some cases, daughters will go for a guy who represents their dad- and in this case, the future boyfriend/husband may be an abuser as well.

    depending on the age of your daughter (i think you said 12?), try to get a guardian ad litem..? its basically a third party, who listens to you, the father and the child... they take all the evidence, look at it- and decide whats best for the child. their best interest is for the child, not for the parents. (some parents use a child for selfish behavior). they can/will talk with the family, friends, etc- whoever might have evidence/help for the case.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 6:44 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • hey Tiger Mom, u'r just a great mon and they sure very proude of u
    God bless you, if u'r ok they will be ok
    caramelH

    Answer by caramelH at 4:59 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • ...but no, saying this does not make you a bad mom.....but there are ways around most of what you are talking about....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I don't know, I think you almost go too far. Believe me, I'd do anything to keep my kids safe, but what stuck in my head was where you said you'd take the embarrasment/shame so your child wouldn't have to feel hurt. But if you shield your child from everything you're not doing them any favours, you're not giving them the tools they'll need when they face adversity as adults. I feel my job as a parent - what makes me a good parent is that, while protecting them from harm, I also don't shield them from everything bad and help them develop all the tools they'll need to function as well rounded adults.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:18 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • i have no words
    adelinasmommy

    Answer by adelinasmommy at 4:46 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • only thing i don't understand is....what would going to jail do to keep them safe from someone who abuses them...wouldn't it be better for you to be free to protect them and the abuser to be in jail???
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:48 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • ...and Zoeyis is so right....if you don't take care of yourself, feed yourself, you're no good to care for your children....instead you be the role model and get out there and show them how you all survive....with moral realm of course....i know so many people see blockades and an end to a means, but there are always ways....and that's what I would do to show my love for my children...i would do what it took to survive....
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 4:51 AM on Oct. 24, 2010