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Isn't spanking mostly . . .

an act of weakness; a result of poor intellectual and/or verbal reasoning skills?

I appreciate that it may be helpful with some kids some of the time in the hands (literally) of a reasonable and loving parent. But mostly I see parents spank their kids so randomly, out of frustration; only making their kids angry with them, resentful and isolated. Know what I mean?

 
juggy82

Asked by juggy82 at 5:56 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 4 (55 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • spanking does not take courage. Its a copout to frustration and anger and taking it out on someone weaker than you. I notice those parents don't spank a teenaged child who can physically stop them or even hit back.

    Hitting someone is not acceptable in society (you go to jail for it), why should it be acceptable to use on your own blood kin? Its the easy way out rather than trying to explain to them and make it none too clear that what they are doing is wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Spanking is not an act of weakness. To the contrary, it takes a very strong parent to have the courage to discipline in this manner. The goal is to have your child instantly obey you without discussion, defiance or disgust. When one begins to train in this very early in life, the results are outstanding when it comes to rearing obedient, respectful children. It's how we raised our children, and they are wonderful examples of its effectiveness.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:31 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I have never ever grabbed my child at all! That would be abuse! I never discipline my children or even talk about the issue when I am angry. When you PROPERLY train your children - you should never ever ever get to a point where you are angry with them. If you do, then you are NOT doing it properly! The RIGHT way to train your child is 1.) Give instruction: Do not do that. 2.) child does what he was told not to do. 3.) apply discipline and say: no, i said do not do that. you chose to do it again, so you chose to have discipline. After discipline is applied, I give to the count of 5 to stop crying - no carrying on. Then I look them in the eye and ask: are you going to obey momma and not do XYZ again? If yes, then big hugs and kisses and I love you! If no, then you will have to have discipline again. you chose to not obey so you will have discipline. Apply discipline again & again until the child CHOOSES to obey. No getting mad.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:11 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I kwym, but my experience with my own children and with others who have used the discipline approach, it is actually quite the opposite. True discipline (which means to teach) applied properly is done with wisdom and shows the child that mom/dad really loves them as God loves us and therefor makes sure that when making choices, the wise ones are rewarded and the unwise ones become a learning tool for the child to use throughout their life. Everything that you are describing is the wrong way to go about it. You need to train yourself in order to effectively train your child. Most of my techniques are from HERE.

    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 6:07 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • why does the parent have to be angry? why do you feel they are frustrated? i don't think that is the way i would aproach it at all. i think spanking is a descline tool that for some its useful. sometimes i feel timeout does not work because they just sit there and then they do it again when its over. some children need more. i don't think anyone has any right on how anyone else parents. noone knows their lives or theire child. you just see the result. sometimes what leads up to it needs spanking. i am on the fence on it but i am not for or against.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 7:42 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Proper discipline does NOT breed fear. My children have never been afraid. You ask my kids if they were afraid of the disciplines they've had. i heard one of them telling my mother this and she asked that very question and my 10 yr old (at the time was 8) and she said: I wasn't afraid - I knew I did wrong and I chose to have discipline. My children know there is ALWAYS a choice - choose to obey or choose NOT to obey. Both have their own consequences.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:57 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Alot of parents do spank out of frustration because other forms of punishment doesn't work. I was beat as a child. Do I resent my dad for it no I don't he did what he felt was right for us. I spanked my older kids now ages 33 & 30 alot they respect me and have spanked their own kids. Do I spank my 8 year old not often maybe 2 times is all but I DO NOT BELIEVE IN TIME OUT. I think that is the stupidest thing someone has evented. Oh let's get into trouble and alls our punishment is going to be is sitting in time out for X minutes yeah what's that teaching a child nothing. I take priviledges away from my child now. It works when she can't go play with her friends would I change how I treated my older ones nope it would not. We all do what we feel is right for our kids did II get compliments about how well behaved my children are yea I laways do and they always tell me keep doing whatever works for you it's working
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 9:55 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I'm the boss and my children will listen. If they don't then they will get their butt smacked...simple as that. I feel its weak to give into your kids and let them be raised as spoiled little brats. Too many teeny boppers going around thinking they can do whatever they want and my children will not be one of them.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:31 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • for me personally, spanking did little more than sting for a few minutes and make me be more careful about not getting caught next time. It didn't really accomplish much
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:26 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I get your point NannyB and have seen this in some families myself. But I can't agree it takes a strong parent to use spanking per se. A strong parent to overcome momentary anger and use a spank reasonably and reliably. Many parents I see just grab their childs arm and whack their hineys randomly and almost without even knowing it. I feel so disheartened for these kids.
    juggy82

    Comment by juggy82 (original poster) at 6:35 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

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