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How Would You Feel!

My husband and I have been having a great deal of problems in our marriage. At this point, my husband no longer wants to be married. Due to financial reason, I am not able to move out right now with my kids. So, my husband is allowing us to stay until I get myself together. Which I am very grateful for. Well, I started to sleep on the couch in the living room. (It has a pull out bed). Anyway, my husband wants to continue to have sex with me and still act like we are man and wife. The only thing that really bothers me is that there is no affection during sex or any other time to be for real. I feel like I am being used in order to stay in his home. Glad he's not going outside the marriage, but it's hard for me to have sex with him knowing he doesn't want to be with me. Tell me how would you feel and what would you do in this situation.

 
notlott37

Asked by notlott37 at 8:00 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (173 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I am very sorry that you are going through this. Once you are married that house or apt becomes yours as well, you do not have to leave nor give him sex just to stay. That is not right that he would even ask that of you. If you truly cannot leave right now than I think you should stand up for yourself and tell him that if he wants sex that bad then he will have to get a blow up doll bc your not having meaningless sex. Good luck.
    momofone221

    Answer by momofone221 at 8:07 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Your husband is ALLOWING YOU to live in YOUR home for now??? And you're grateful he's ALLOWING YOU & your children to stay? Last I knew the law says the home belongs to you both. Unless of course the deed is in his name only? Even then NO judge will allow your husband to force you & your kids out of the house, just because he doesnt want to be married anymore. In fact; once you leave it works against you, not for you, if you would ever reach the divorce point.

    as for the sex? tell your husband a BIG NO! he has a lot of nerve expecting you to have sex with him, after telling you he doesnt want to be married anymore! that is SO disrespectful towards you, cant you see that? If you dont respect yourself, how can he? DO NOT allow him to make you his sexual convenience/play toy anymore! Having sex with him isnt going to make him want to stay married. it just makes it easy for him to get his rocks off. that's what his hand is for.
    RubyinPA

    Answer by RubyinPA at 9:31 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • tell him if he wants out the marriage then he is the one that needs to get out the house, that is your house too and you have more rights to it then he does , especially if you have kids!!!!For the sex issue the shouldn't be one, since the day he told you he wants out the marriage he lost all privileges , and it's not fair to you, your not a toy you have feelings and needs . He's sounds like a big jerk!!!!!
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 12:12 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • He does not want me any more, he does not get any sex any more. That is all there is to that. I would tell him to go stick his stuff in someone else. But do not bring her here tell we move out.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:49 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • NO NO NO....all or nothing. Cant have your cake and eat it too. He is being selfish and immature! You shouldnt have to "give" him yourself in order to have time in the house to get yourself together...he OWES you that for just being the mother of his children!!!!!

    Jerk! Why are you the one leaving anyways...why not him?
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:54 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • why do u and the kids have to leave? i'm sure if you got an attorney and went to court the judge isn't gonna say u and the kids have to leave. As far as the sex goes unless your wanting to also, I would say "tough ----! Your not the live in call girl!
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 9:00 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Tell him that if he wants out to leave then get some financial help for you and the kids I'm sure there is a state agency that will help you with the rent and what you need. I would not have sex with him if he wanted out of the relationship!
    Darla47

    Answer by Darla47 at 9:23 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I have to be honest. I have no idea how I would feel because I would never allow myself to be in that situation or to be treated that way. Especially be treated that way.

    If my husband does not want to be with me.. and he wants a divorce... Then he damn sure would not be having sex with me or any sort of intimate relationship with me. I couldn't and wouldn't do it. Even if we had no choice other than to live together for awhile. We would be no more than roommates living totally seperate lives.. With that said though, and looking at it while typing it. I would never live like that, either I or he would be moving out. Period. One way or another, one of us would be gone.

    I'm sure this is an incredibly difficult sitauation for you. And I"m sure that your emotions are being dragged around one way and then another. The only one who can stop that dragging around, is YOU. You have to stop this, for your own well being
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

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