Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I motivate my husband, to work?

He's self employed and is very good at what he does, but he picks and chooses jobs. He thinks since I work that should be good enough but it's not, I can barely pay the bills! He grew up very poor so he thinks a little money should go a long way and we need to lower our standards! I've begged him to get a regular 9 to 5 job but he refuses, says he worked hard for his license he's not gonna go flip burgers for min. wage. He's good to me and the kids but he is just not motivated and hasn't been for many years. It's getting sooooo old!

Answer Question
 
anichols1

Asked by anichols1 at 8:50 AM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,058 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Deal with him the way he is or leave him. Sence you are paying all the bills anyway. It would not bother you to do it alone. Like I say. "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need a man to help me with that".
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:54 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Honestly, until it 's his idea, and he thinks he needs to change, it is not going to happen.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:55 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • my hubby is the same way! i quit my job to stay hm with our dd so he could work his job full time! its been almost a month and he hasnt gotten up before noon once yet!!!! its so annoying i thought since he would be our sole bread winner it would kick him into shape but not yet! all our bills are paid for the next 6 months so i dont have to worry yet! i would say just wait it out. i cant do anything it has to be his idea. if i yell at him or try to wake him up early he just goes back to bed even longer!! sorry i hope things get better!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 9:13 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • wow........ for me personally that is SO not sexy.

    This is who he is........ lazy. Im sure this is something you saw when you were dating.... Im sure this isnt a huge shock. So just know who you married and move on. Yes, it is annoying... but I bet you knew what he was like going in.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 9:52 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Well, as some of the others have said, this is him. You shouldn't marry someone hoping they will change because that next to never happens. I do agree with him, you really don't need a lot of money to get by. You don't have to drive new cars, or live in a big house, not saying thats your case. I think you are either going to have to accept this is who he is or leave.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:43 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • THING IS he did have a great job when we married, we don't drive new cars and we live in a house way to small for all of us . I guess I wish there was an easy sollution because otherwise he is a great person all but the laziness.
    anichols1

    Comment by anichols1 (original poster) at 5:45 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.