Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

45 Bumps

Bump if you agree, reply why if you don't. Thanks ladies.

We were having a debate of sorts, I'm just going to put the main sentance that was in play.

"Just because I live with you does not mean you get to parent my child or challenge my parenting in front of my child."

No, the living with party is not the other parent. Thanks again ladies.

 
DonnaPinitonya

Asked by DonnaPinitonya at 3:14 PM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,559 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (40)
  • Challenging the parenting going on by the actual parent is a no-no. If DH and I have a problem with what the other parent does, we talk about it privately. As for some one who lives with me that is not a parent, I would ask that they don't go against my rules with my kids. If my kids are around them and I'm not around, then there should be an agreement in place that allow that person to do minor "parenting." My Dad lived with me for a while, and he knew our rules so he'd enforce them if we'd run to the store or some thing. He would NEVER argued with us about how we parent our kids.
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 6:12 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • i agree but theyre should b ways he can discipline too so he dosent feel useless and also so the child wont rub n his face later "you cant spank/put me in time out/punish me" b/c it starts the kid-s thinking they dont have to respect them like they would you :)
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 3:17 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I don't agree because I would never have anyone live with me that wasn't going to be a permanent influence in my childs life. My fiance and I co-parent my son together. Is this some new boyfriend who just moved in?
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:17 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • It depends. If it's your boyfriend and you want him to help, then yes, it's okay to parent the child. If it's a roomate then no.
    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 3:22 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • While I would not allow just anyone to have a parent role with my children I would also not allow just anyone to live with them. There need to be some rules or boundaries, but the adults are there to be in charge, not the kids.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 3:23 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • i agree. my sil lives with us and as much as i hate her "parenting" i bite my tongue. but when i babysit her dd she has to go by my rules.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:23 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I agree. Guidelines should be laid out for the non-parental adult should he/she be responsible for the child alone. If the child misbehaves something should be in place to handle the situation.

    Even parents should not disagree on discipline issues in front of the child.
    sopranomommy

    Answer by sopranomommy at 3:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I dont care if the other person is the other parent or not. It is NEVER wise to challange someone's parenting decisions in front of the child. My husband and I wouldnt even do that to each other.
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 5:36 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • true, to the extent that said parenting or lack thereof does NOT effect the one this is being said to.

    if I let you move in with me to help you out, I DO get to tell your kid that they are to keep their hands off my computer, regarless of whether your personal philosophy is to never say no to to your kid.

    on the other hand, if you've moved back with your parents, even if they are paying the bills, they don't get to dictate to you that your kid's too old to nurse, or can't have an apple because it's an hour before dinnertime, etc.
    autodidact

    Answer by autodidact at 6:34 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Yeah, in that situation I agree with you. If you have given them the way you want things done, and they STILL think they can handle it there way, they are wrong. All they are doing is showing the child that he/she can play the two f you against each other to get what he/she wants.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 7:38 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN