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Does anyone else really NOT like their own mother?

Recently, I have let a lot of issues from my childhood out. I cannot stand my mom and now see clearly that she is responsible for the abuse that went on in our home. She never put her kids first. I am so angry that we lived in chaos for 14 years. I think I almost hate her. How can I get over it? What do I do? I am already in counseling and it is helping me, but I don't know if I want her around at all. She is totally clueless about how I feel.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Oct. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • The line between love and hate is really thin-I understand where you are coming from so you are not alone...there was also abuse in my home growing up and I even told my mom what was going on-and she still believed him and at that point I was only 10...so needless to say the abuse went on for years(actually until I moved out)-so I do know how you feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • If you ever figure out how to get over it, tell me how.

    My mom refuses to believe that she's responsible for many of my childhood issues. I've pointed out exactly what happened and how she was wrong (she was very inconsistent with her discipline and put herself first above my brother and me), but yet she still somehow blames me for everything that happened when I was a kid. My mom and I get along great sometimes, but it really pisses me off when she brings up shit about my childhood and tries to make ME feel bad because of it. Grr.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 7:02 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • What is she suppose to do???The past is the past..you can not change the past..She can apologize all she wants.. But it still wont change what has already happened...Have you tried talking to her about this issue you have???It's good you are in counseling..Dealing with your issues..You are the only one who can decide,If you want an adult daughted mother relationship,with her..Not even she can force you to do that...  Good luck

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:05 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • My mother chose drugs over me 3 times. She gave me up for adoption THREE times. Then the last time she had me, she was abusive, mean, and made me feel so bad about myself that I developed an eating disorder and cut myself because I thought I deserved it. She would get all pissed off when I came home with good grades because she failed high school. She would always tell me that I'm just like her. Right now she sells meth and pot and is trying to find me. I moved two states away to escape her. Now she's threatening to find me and take my baby. My little bro is completely Fucked up because of her..... I DO NOT like my mother. I'd be happy if I never saw her again..
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 7:06 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I wrote her a letter. Letting out every hurt and every wrong she ever did me. She doesn't remember any of it... but I let it all out. I told her that I don't want her in my life because of the way she lives hers and I don't want her to see my baby and I told her WHY. It wasn't a mean letter. It was just full of facts.
    MarlyeGirl

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 7:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I know exactly how u feel & what ur going thru bc I've been down that road w/ my mom. Her bf molested 9from 12 2 about 13) & physically abused me from 12-16. I told her & she didn't believe me & even blamed me. To this day, she still has not admitted it fully. I too have been in counseling 4 almost 2 yrs. and it has helped me also. But as far as wanting to b close close 2 her,I probably never will be & actually, not sure if I ever want 2 b. But as I have learned in counseling, the past is the past & in order 4 me 2 b able 2 move on & heal, I have 2 learn 2 accept her as she is which is very hard. If u ever need 2 talk, send me a message. I'd be happy 2 listen and/or talk bc as I've said, I've been there & 2 am trying 2 deal w/ all the bullshit she put me thru (and @ times, still puts me thru).
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 7:19 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • my mother took me at two years old on a weekend visitation to florida, made in back in time the first time but then did it again two weeks later, this time my dad had to come and get me...mind you that is when i was 2...never heard from the woman for 16 years, then took it upon myself to find her when after all that time and go see her since i was 18..my dad never tried to keep me away from her but as i grew older and knew what she did to me after listening to recordings that had to be turned into the lawyer i didn't want anything to do with her...so at the age of 18 like i said i decided to find her and meet her...me and my daughters father, drove to kentucky and her first words to me were "just know that you were not meant to be here, you were conceieved in the back of your grandmothers car (mind you my grandma is dead)
    brice08

    Answer by brice08 at 2:40 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • but just know that i love you anyway..i would have much rather been hit in the face for the simple fact that she honestly didn't know me nor did she care to take the time as a child to get to know me ....as for my stepmother she is the only mom that i have ever known and she has said very very hurtful things to me and i don't care for her nor do i speak to her on a daily basis in fact my wedding on Aug 31st was the first time i had talked to her in 5 months...my dad and I have always been close and always will be close...
    brice08

    Answer by brice08 at 2:41 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

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