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How do you monitor what your teens are doing without taking away their freedom? adult content

I have a 16 year old son, who messed around with a friend of him about a year and a half ago, and together they made our beautiful, first grandbaby. We are very proud to call her our grandchild and couldn't love her any more. But we do wish she wouldn't came many years later. My son's still a teenager, but he does a great job with her. She, most of the time, stays with her mother and her grandparents. BUT, after all that has happened, we don't know how to keep tabs on our son without limiting his freedom. We can't tell him he can't be around girls anymore, and we want him to have those friends of his. We just don't want them to be sexually active together. We didn't raise him to be like that, he just made a bad choice. How do we keep that from happening again? Without limiting his freedom and taking away his friends..

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Oct. 24, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • He's 16, you are the parent. He has no right as long as he is living under your roof and you are supporting him. Limiting his freedom? Freedom for what? Unless he wants to move out and support himself, you are the decision maker, not him. I would think that with this child, you would have learned that. Don't let it happen again Mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • set up a hidden camra

    Answer by janea37 at 10:29 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • You're kidding right? How much more freedom does a 16 year old need? Freedom without responsibility is just headonism. There are a hundred good reasons not to have children too early. Have you talked to him about birth control? Child support? Marriage? Setting a good example? Making smart life decisions? How he's going to manage college? How his baby momma's gonna manage any kind of life at all now? How bad he's going to feel when he's 21 and wants to party every night but has a kid in elementary school to take care of? How this one night of his life has changed his destiny completely? How many wonderful choices he's completely obliterated with his nonsense? He's already messed up two families lives with all his lovely freedom. Maybe you should help him grow up now.

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 10:42 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Just because he's got a child doesn't mean that you cannot still monitor everything eh does, who he goes out with, when he ccomes home, etc. and you most certainly can tell him that you don't want him having sex. Just because he is a parent doesn't mean he's grown. He has a child and he is STILL a chid. Do you want him to have another child before he's 18? IMO he had too much freedom and now needs to have less freedom. Of course my children are all grown (18, 20, 22 and 24) and none were teen parents (I only have 1 biological granchild and his dad was out of high school & in college, had a full time job and was living on his own when he became a step-parent 5 years ago and a parent 4 years ago) so my views are just based on pure opinion.

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 1:50 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Stop trying to stop the inevitable, now that he has a child he might be more careful!

    Answer by older at 8:04 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • ((( hugs )))

    i dont have an answer

    Answer by sahlady at 4:47 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • buy a box of condum and set them and note that says we love our grandchild but arent ready for new one on the dress by his bed, i'm sure he'll get the brother was 16 when he had his first child and 22 and married when he had the second.....he learned a big lesson......

    Answer by cara124 at 10:02 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

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