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Please help...What would you do??

OK I am in a very difficult spot in my life right now, I dont know what to do. Ok I will start of at the beginning, I am pregnant and me and my LO's father broke up a couple months ago, but last month we dedided that we are going to try and work things out. That isnt the problem, well when we broke up he left Yuma(where I live) and moved back to San Diego(a 3 hr drive from here). And we decided that I was going to move up there with him after our son is born. Well I just found out that my mom is going to start chemo soon(she has breast cancer) and she will have to be going to Tuscan(a 3 hr drive in the other direction) twice a week for 6 months, my mom takes care of my 4 younger siblings and my dad who has had 6 strokes and is basically a child himself. Well here comes the problem I dont know if I should stay here with my mom to help her take care of my family or stick with my plan of moving away.


Asked by LiLJeni at 5:22 AM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 30 (44,491 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • My mom had breast cancer when I was a 12 years old and again a few years later. It was really hard on her doing chemo. Not only is she going to ho through the chemo twice a week but after math of it is extremely hard. You loose all your energy and immune system. Chemo is very hard on someone. How old is your siblings. If they are teens it might be easier for you to go. If they are younger then not so much. Is there any other family around or friends. Maybe talk to your mom. I am really sorry you are in this position. I know that it is really hard to go through. My 20 year old niece just got done with chemo and seeing her was so hard. Brought back memories of my mom. She passed away 8 yrs ago from cancer. After already surving breast cancer twice. GL! add me if you need someone to talk to

    Answer by momofangels5 at 9:22 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Normally I'd say move and have your own life... but your mom really needs you right now... this is your time to step up and give back to the woman who birthed and raised you. Your bf will still be there when she's done with chemo... or he can come back and stay with you for a while until you're no longer needed.
    I really wouldn't leave my mom. Just my opinion... good luck hon!!!

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 5:37 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Cont...
    I know she will have a really hard time taking care of our family while going to chemo and being gone almost half the time. So here is my question what would you do if you were in my situation??

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 5:23 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Well if it were me I would want to help my mom out in anyway I could. The treatment that she will have is going to make her feel very sick and there could be days where she is going to be in bed. You are also prego so you have to take care of yourself as well. Before going around mom ask your doctor if you can be around her first. Regarding the chemo, I know when being prego there are certain chemicals YOU SHOULD NO BE AROUND I do not know if this is one but check. I know somebody that works in the Hosp. and she works with patients and giving chemo. She said when being prego she had to be careful about the treatments that she had to give due to the chemical, this is why I am telling you this. Mom is going to need a lot of support and about dad he is not a well person either. Maybe you can get some of her friends to help you also. I wish your mom the best. I will say a prayer for her.

    Answer by sta517 at 5:40 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Well by the time she starts chemo I wont be pregnant anymore(hopefully, I am 37 weeks), and my mom really doesnt have many friends us kids and my dad are all she really has.

    Comment by LiLJeni (original poster) at 5:42 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I agree with Gremlyn1980.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:45 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Well just take care of yourself. "HUGS"

    Answer by sta517 at 5:48 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I would stay if it were me...for me I'm really close to my mom and I'd never forgive myself if I moved on and something happened to her....I couldn't stand to be away from her in her time of need....and honestly, in your situation, your LO's father is just something you're going to "try" again that didn't work out the first time....if he moved all that way away, then he couldn't have been too interested in staying involved with your child....I think your mom is more important here, hands down. Having said that, if you decide to stay to be with your Mom, I do still say to take time for yourself...don't run yourself need to be well for you, your little one and your mom.....

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 6:05 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I personally would stay and help your family and have him move back to you. Your family seems to really need you and if he loves you and wants a family he will be with you and support you in the decission. I always see things with my family as my mom has always devoted her love and time to me and as an adult it is my turn to help her when I can. Family has to come first. Your mom needs you.

    Answer by emsmommy225 at 6:26 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I would help out my mom. Think about how you will feel if you are miles away and wishing you could help. Will you have regrets if you do not stay? That might help you amswer the question.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:50 AM on Oct. 25, 2010