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3 Bumps

The best way to get over a fight?

dh and I had it out last night. Actually, it was more like me nagging and him attacking. No name calling but There was a lot of finger pointing and I am still hurt this morning. We talked, he apologized, I accepted. My pride is squashed and my head is reeling. even though he says he didn't mean the things he said, I feel now as if I do nothing right in his eyes. Help!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • This may sound counter-intuitive, but do something nice for him today. Demonstrate that you do things well, that you really did accept the apology and that you are looking forward to healing the rift.

    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 10:53 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • go out to dinner and forget about it Just have some fun with each other
    Bubbles120

    Answer by Bubbles120 at 10:53 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I would seriously talk to him, usually when we say things out of anger they are said in not a such a nice way.

    So you both should get time right before bed to help each other figure out what needs to be done diffrently, tell him you need to write something down that needs to be done diffrently each night and go from there... The next night you discuss what you did too change it....

    Hopefully that works, I am going to do the same with my children... You have to promise your selves that you will not get angry and take what they say too heart but take it, run with it, and improve it...

    Good luck!!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:54 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Oh mama, I''m sorry you're going thru this. First of all I'm silly & when DH and I fight I get my frustrations out with a coloring book. It's calming and enjoyable. I went through a similar time with my DH and it was at the beginning of my pregnancy (I'm 23 weeks now). It was TERRIBLE. He made me feel the same way - no matter how hard I work around the house & taking care of DD it's never enough. I understand he's stressed but he REALLY flew off the handle and was getting really irrational. It wasn't HIM... at all. He has a history of anxiety issues and recently he started working almost 24/7 and was getting really stressed about such little time at home to take care of "home stuff" and having no time for himself for fun. I want to take some of the blame for overreacting from pregnancy hormones in the beginning but I think it was definitely all him. I've felt normal all along.
    MamaLisa1976

    Answer by MamaLisa1976 at 11:02 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I keep thinking back to his anger and all of it makes me cry. I am so good to him and him to me. He just holds on to stuff and explodes where I talk everything through. To him it seems like nagging and to me he seems shut off. I guess we are still learning each other but he told me himself that we have enough love to work through and accept each others ways.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Anon- if he holds it in until he explodes then you two are not communicating enough daily...Dh use to be the same way and so did I but we talked to a marriage advisor and she said to talk more before bed and when we have a free moment through out the day. We were informed to ask things like: Have I done anything today that I might need to work on? And then your spouse should ask the same. Are you happy with things today? yesterday?...so on so on...It has built such a understanding of each other that now when something makes me shake my head at him I go to him and tell him at that moment instead of waiting until we are in a heated argument. Throwing hurtful things in one explosion causes more damage than just telling your partner how you are feeling daily. Good luck!
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:40 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Make up sex!
    jshimmy

    Answer by jshimmy at 4:52 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

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