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How do I get my Kindergardener to listen without having to punish her for not listening first?

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Asked by battisarah at 11:04 AM on Oct. 25, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (39 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Remind her when you notice that she might not be listening. Tell her that you are giving her one more chance to put her listening ears on. Make sure that when you are saying something that you deem very important, that you have her full attention.

    Answer by slw123 at 11:30 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • A lot of parents don't realize that you don't have to punish a child all the time for them to obey. Sometimes you just need to be consistant in verbal communication. Try giving her a choice in what she would like to do. Say "Jane, these are your options. You can have [insert three meals] for lunch, which do you want?" Giving her more of a choice over what she wears, does, etc can really help in her behaving more. When she decides that she doesn't want what the choices are, then you let her know those are her only choices. That if she doesn't choose one she won't get another choice. So my suggestion is to give her more freedom and more say over what goes on.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:37 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Good point JazzlikeMraz! We always give our kids 'choices'. They may not like the choices, but they can decide for themselves which choice to make, lol. When they do bad things, we remind them that it was their choice to act like they did and now they have to suffer the consequences.

    Answer by slw123 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • You have to be paient. Remember they are YOUNG, and they really don't have a very long attention span. Maybe do intervals, do a few minutes of quiet/listening, then give a minute of jumping or something to get their energy out. They can't stay concentrated for too long!

    Answer by Lindsey3459 at 12:48 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • When my kindergardener isn't listen I also point out to her that she is not listening and ask her to look at me when I am talking to her. Sometimes I ask her to tell me what I just said to her so that I know that she heard me. If it keeps going then I send her to her room for a few minutes and then we talk about why I sent her to her room and then we try again with what we were talking about.

    Answer by mwallace1023 at 5:53 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • We have been having this problem with our daughter, who is in grade one. We were getting sick of setting consequences and thinking up punishments (which weren't really working anyway) so now her father and I are trying to watch our own behaviour and make sure we model the behaviour we wish to see in her, eg. paying attention when someone speaks, listening and responding. I have also started slowing and down and making sure I have her full attention (this can take a minute) before I start telling her something and if it's really important I'll ask her to explain back to me what I said. I feel like we're getting more in tune with each other and communication is easier now, but it has taken a lot of work.

    It's sooo frustrating when kids don't listen - good luck.

    Answer by Allaye at 6:43 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • i always try to take something away or stop what they are doing, or time outs.

    Answer by sodapple at 7:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • i give choices

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:44 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • It's a tough one. I tell mine, I've said this once or twice, I really don't want to say it three times. Can you tell me what I was just talking to you about? I think I am going to start by saying his name, and telling him I want to tell him something, so listen.

    Answer by tucson.mary at 6:29 AM on Oct. 30, 2010

  • i make sure my child is looking at me before i start telling them something that i think is important. then i ask them to repeat back what i said. if my child isn't listening, i start couting to 5 and letting them know if they don't choose to listen, then they are choosing to sit in time out. i rarely have to send my kiddo's to timeout.

    Answer by babymar at 3:50 PM on Nov. 1, 2010

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