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What do I do?

I love my husband, I'm just not in love with him. It's more of a friendship now. I really cant stand for him to touch me in any way sexual. I know it hurts him when iIdont hug or hold him anymore. I left him for a few months but came back thinking that it would be better for the children. Now I'm so miserble that I don't know which way is up. I don't work and I don't have an education, so I know leaving at this moment would only make this worse on my kids. What should I do?
I don't want to hurt him but i knowit's apparent that im unhappy.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Oct. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Have you been to couples therapy? You were in love once, you ought to be able to get it back. It's common for marriages to go through cool spells.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:34 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • yeah i agree with above poster, i think before you just leave try something. maybe a second honeymoon. look at old pics of your wedding day and try at least holding his hand.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:43 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • i agree with both pp's...go out on a date or what you used to do when you were dating...i don't know...go out on a back road and get "busy" if you're up for it...these things happen, couples go through a "dry spell" and the only way to get out of it is through counsiling, or going on a dh and i try to go out at least once a month...GL

    Answer by armywife43 at 10:22 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Pray that God would teach you to love him the way God would have you love him. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Marriage is a commitment not just a feel good agreement. It takes work. Read some good books on marriage and family. Love is a Choice is a good one to start with:-) Go to the Focus on the Family website and do some reading........ You can feel that connection again.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • If you really want what is best for the kids, you should try getting to know each other again. As we grow older we can also grow apart (especially if we don't continually work on our marriage). You can choose to stay for the kids or the money, but in the end you will still be miserable and become resentful. You need to stay because you want to. A happy/healthy single mom is better for your children than a miserable married one. Talk to your SO about your feelings and see if there is something the two of you could do to reconnect. Also; who better to spend the rest of your life with and raise kids with than your best friend? ( I married mine)

    Answer by gwood at 11:35 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I think I like him and I don't even know him. I'd never have let you come back to hurt me and the kids again. I'm not bashing you, it's just my feelings that if you walk out on me, then I'm done if it's not even worth staying and trying to work out.
    You're a very lucky woman I think. Try dating, spending time together doing things you both enjoy, get to know one another gain. A lot of people list the pro's and cons and it makes things look a lot better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • ^^^^
    You obviously seem to think I just packed up and left one day. For petes sake not everyone is that callous. It was a long drown out process that lasted for about 2 months.

    Poster of question

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

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