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Does anyone else feel guily having "me time"?

I don't know what my deal is, but whenever the opportunity comes up to have time to myself or to go out with friends, I turn it down because I feel bad taking time for myself. I feel like I should be spending the time with my husband or son, or doing something productive. I'm a sahm and I'm literally with him almost 24/7, so maybe it's just a habit, lol. For example, my mom will offer to watch him for a few hours and I decide against it bc I know if I do have the time to myself, I'll feel selfish just taking time for myself when I could be getting something done, lol. Arg, am I the only one who feels like this? I've decided to make myself do things for simply for myself, but it's hard to enjoy it when I feel guilty.


Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 12:57 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (15)
  • it can feel that way but hey if you mum is willing to baby sit.. go for it.. why dont you start small, just go up to the shops and spend 1 hour walking around? or you could get a pedicure.. It seems unproductive but you will be happy you did something different and to spoil yourself. You need ME time, You have neglected it for so long you think you don't but once you get a taste, im sure you will be amazed at what you have missed out on..
    make sure you do it for yourself.. just go get something done, even if its just a hair cut or a jog in the park.

    have fun :)

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 12:59 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Yes, sweetie, it is damn if you do and damn if you don't!!!!!! mothers are masochists at heart!!!!!!


    Answer by older at 12:59 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I feel guilty at first, but them I am sure to tell myself that I must take care of myself and keep myself well and happy in order to take care of my family to the best of my ability. An unhappy mommy makes for an unhappy family!

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 1:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Yes, I usually feel guilty, but I'm better about taking it now than I used to be. I usually just get a few minutes here and there most days until after his bedtime, but then my DH and I hang out. It's a little better since he plays on his own more, but he hasn't been napping so sometimes I feel like I need time to myself and I'm not getting it. I'm still bad about going out with friends unless it's something I can bring the whole family to though. I feel guilty having someone else watch him, plus I worry when I don't know what's going on. I'm working on it. I know I could be happier and a better mom if I make sure I take some time for myself each week.

    Answer by pam19 at 1:13 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I have the same problem. I am a SAHM too. My sister came to watch my kids. I was gone less than an hour, and wanted to home. As Moms we need to learn.....that we need us time. Plus, the kids need time away from us too. I am not so cranky, when I can go shopping alone, once in awhile. I hope this helps!

    Answer by colepip2 at 3:31 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • not in the least...i LOVE ME TIME! I think it was harder when my DD was younger though.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:58 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • As long as the kids are taken care of, they seem content and I took care of all that I needed to take care of, I don't feel guilty at all. It's okay to have time to yourself especially if you feel you've earned it.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 12:58 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Let your mom take him!! If nothing else, they get that time together. That's why I make sure my mom gets time with DS each week. Plus, I get some time, but not always.
    I DO feel guilty doing things for myself, but I do them because if I don't, I will lose my mind. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I have some free time, I am cleaning or studying or doing homework, but I try to go to dinner with other mom friends once a month and I work out most mornings, which is kind of "me" time.
    You need SOME me time, even if it's only a few sporadic hours.

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:00 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Me personally.

    Nope, I never once felt quilty for having "me" time.

    The reality for me was/is this... I can not/could not, be the best "mom" I could be, if I was not the best "me" I could be. Being the best me entails, not being overally stressed, not building up resentments, not being exhausted, understanding and accepting that I have needs/wants that need to be fulfilled and they are just as important as my husband's & son's, understanding & accepting that I need time to be "me" and understanding and accepting that I can't take care of everyone else if I do not take care of myself as well.....

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:01 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • My only me time is in the shower. We don't have anyone near to watch the kids=( But if you won't enjoy it it will not do any good. The whole concept is it should reboot you. So I would say do what makes YOU feel good. There is no law you have to take it =)

    Answer by luv2mum at 1:01 PM on Oct. 25, 2010