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Biomom + Stepmom = friendly??

Its been almost 3 years and I have tried everything I can think of to get on biomom's good side for SS's benifit..

Im begining to belive its impossible..

Anyone have any ideas on HOW to bridge a civilized relationship with the other parent?

My situation as the biomom works out well cause both Fiance and I get along with my x and his girlfriend and even when we dont get along we still play nice.. Am I crazy or is getting along with your kids other parent and their partner rare?

Answer Question
 
Mrs_Chris_Pukt

Asked by Mrs_Chris_Pukt at 1:42 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 7 (161 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • some people stay bitter , dont let it hinder your life .
    maymummy

    Answer by maymummy at 1:46 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I don't have any personal experience with this situation, but from what I have observed - some people are just IMPOSSIBLE to get along with! No matter what you do, they refuse to play nice. Jealousy, resentment, and any number of other emotions probably play a big role. It is unfortunate that she won't try - at the very least for her son's benefit. I don't understand people like that, but like I said, I am not in a situation like that. GL mama
    mama2000_1

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 1:46 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • it probably is if you have tried everything.... how about a one on one conversation with her to remind her you arnt trying to be a parent to her child, and you have so much respect for her?

    to be honest,
    If my husband and I didn't work out and he re married I wouldnt be to thrilled about her either..
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:49 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • keep in mind though, that it's nothing personal!!!!

    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:51 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Have you ever tried talking to her about it in just those terms, that you want to be able to get along and be civil for your stepson's sake? Sometimes friendly is too much to ask for, but I agree it is in everyone's best interests to go for at least being civil. My stepdaughter's biomom and I are always civil to each other and are 'friendly' socially although we don't have any big heart to hearts or spend time together outside shared social situations. I do consider my oldest son's stepmom a friend and we can talk to each other about anything. I think that we are all lucky that the ex's and new partners in our men's lives have all been reasonable, non-psychotic human beings with the kids' best interests in mind because there are some people out there who are not and who do not.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:53 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Why not start with referring to her as Mom, rather than Bio-Mom and until you and your fiance are married, don't refer the child as a step-son-that may help!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I get along with my SC mother well we speak and we have b-days together and we even shop together. We are all adults and she has her sole mate and I have mine what didn't work between my hubby and her works for my hubby and I. We all get along very very well even my hubby and her BF gets along great also. Even if they didn't have children together it would be a couple that we would hang out with.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:05 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • My Dh's ex not only hates me, but she hates DH too. I mean she HATES us and even 15 years after they divorced (12 since I've been in the picture) she still causes drama and stress and its awful. I have ALWAYS taken the high road with her, but none of it matters because in her mind we don't give her enough money. If we had more money, she'd like us.

    A few questions, how long have they been divorced? Were you the 'other woman' ? How is it that she acts that gives you the impression she doesn't like you? Also, does she get along with your fiance?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:15 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • You can only control your actions and responses. So no worries. Always extend the branch of kindesscand consideration. If it is not taken well then it isn't your issue. Sad but true. Keep being kind and civil.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:52 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • With my youngest SS I thankfully get on fine with his biomum which according to his father is because I treat the lad as my own.
    Creating78

    Answer by Creating78 at 3:55 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

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