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Depression after miscarriage adult content

I was just about 10 weeks when I miscarried (just discovered last week). I have been having a very hard time with this and my husband and I have been fighting daily. It's so depressing. I even broke down crying today because I'm going to get some winter clothes. It's depressing because I should be waiting to buy maternity clothes.
I've been feeling like my only option is anti-depressants, but I hate taking medications. Anyone have advice on how to get past this?
I have a confession as well. I'm not very religious, but I feel like I am being punished by God because I have had an abortion in the past and also because I had a pregnancy lost when my daughter was a year old and I was kind of relieved I lost that one, since we weren't ready. I feel like God is proving a point to me now, since we actually planned this pregnancy. Help me!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (10)
  • (I'm not religious either, so take this with a grain of salt) Any God who would punish you like that is not a God I would want to be associated with. Talk to your OB about finding a talk therapist about this. You lost your child, it doesn't matter that it was still growing inside you. Also, try adding B vitamins and omega-3s to your diet (it helped me with PPD).
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 2:16 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I dont think you need anti-depressents but it sounds like you need to speak with a grief counselor. I am so sorry and I hope things get better soon.

    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 2:16 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Im sorry. :( You have every right to question why. It is part of healing. IMO, respectfully, God did not want this to happen, remember he wants us to have babies. HTH.
    2tinyhineys

    Answer by 2tinyhineys at 2:17 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • IT is a hard thing to go thru. I had 3 miscarriages and the first was by far the worst, emotionally. My advice - get active. Go sign up for a excercise class. Whether it be turbokick, flirty girl, zooba, or water aerobics, get out and get active. Exercise will ease depression, boost fertility, and release endorphins that will help you cope with the complex feelings that go along with pregnancy loss. Its easy get lost in the grief, guilt, and sadness. What you are feeling is a normal and healthy reaction to loss, but anti-depressants are always an option if you phyiscally can't regain your normal life. ((HUGS)) .
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 2:22 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I had an ectopic back in April, lost my tube and ovaries on my left side. I was seriously depressed for months. And I also had an abortion when I was younger. The situation was a terrible one and the baby wasn't developing right. Don't blame yourself. I'm not religious either but everything happens for a reason. I was suggest talking to someone. Don't hold it all in. I'm so sorry, and I hope things start looking up.*hugs*
    prettypaper

    Answer by prettypaper at 2:26 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry for your loss. It takes time to go through the grieving process, and even when you think you're done things may pop up that remind you again and make you sad. Give yourself some time to process what's happened and feel sad about it. Your loss is very recent and it may take some time before you feel like moving on. Your husband may approach the situation differently than you do too. My husband accepted the explanation that "there must have been something wrong with the baby" when I miscarried, and he really didn't understand why I was so emotional for so long.

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 2:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Anon, my heart goes out to you. If you just found out last week then this is so new and raw, it's only normal that you would still be having a hard time dealing with it. I agree with the advice to get some grief counseling, I am sure there are resources available maybe thru your OBGYN, a church, or even online. I know you aren't religious but a church still can have good resources and talking to someone there might help you work thru the feelings you are having of being punished by God. I know life doesn't always make sense but I don't think God punishes us in those ways. Also, getting some exercise can really help as karamille said. But you have had a death in your family and this isn't something that you just get over in a week so take some time to process it and deal with it. Don't be afraid to reach out for help and if you feel anti-depressants are in order there is no shame in that either. My sympathies to you.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:35 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • If there is any silver lining it is that you are more fertile following a miscarriage. If you can bring yourself to try again. The time isn't right just yet or something went wrong. IMO there is no god so it's not some form of punishment. Even if god existed the christian bunch wants us to believe he's a god of love and mercy. Certainly doing something like this to prove a point would be out of character. Allow yourself time to grieve and when you are ready to try again go for it. I have a birthstone baby for the one I lost. It is also included on the mothers ring my hubby got me. It's going to get easier just hang in there. You'll pull past this.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:06 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I'm goin to be honest here. Abortion, to me, is never an option. I think it's horrible. Being relieved that you lost a baby is also a bad thing. BUT having said that, I'm sorry for your miscarriage and your pain. No one should have to go through that. Anti-depressants really aren't that bad. I'm on a small dose (10mg) of Lexapro and it's made a world of difference!! I am not so depressed and my anxiety attacks have went WAY down :) If you need to get on an anti-depressant just for a while, then do it .. If you need it forever, do it. It will really help you. Hope you get to feelin better!!!! Chin up!
    BShip2010

    Answer by BShip2010 at 12:10 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • if you would like to contact me to have someone who has been there and is still dealing with it please contact me.....I know how you feel and you may feel alone but you have "friends" out there
    MLH92108

    Answer by MLH92108 at 7:18 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

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