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Do you treat your oldest differently?

Both my husband and I grew up in households that saw being the oldest as a responsibility. We hated it. So we decided we would not be the same way. Wondering how many people treat their oldest child no matter the age differently.


Asked by mslksdh at 2:23 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,219 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • Well, I wouldn't necessarily say she has any more responsibility than her sisters but I will say that because she is our first (17 yrs old now) we are learning as we go.


    Answer by shanlaree at 2:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Nope...I have a 5 and 7yo. They have an equal amount of responsibility. I guess I expect a little more from him because he's more mature age wise...but I treat them the same.

    Answer by motherofpearls at 2:26 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • And I should add... What I mean by that is her sisters will most likely have it a little easier as we have learned and are still learning from our mistakes and triumphs through our first child.

    Answer by shanlaree at 2:28 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Yes I give my oldest a little more responsibility. I also let him stay up later. I am sure just like him you received things you liked as well that went along with the responsibility. It's part of getting kids ready to be on their own.

    Answer by arenad at 2:29 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Of course. I'm not going to treat my oldest the same way I treat my baby. I'm going to treat her in a little more mature fashion than I would with a baby. ANd it's okay to ask your oldest for help with the youngest, but I agree that it's not right to make them take on the majority of the responsibility, but they're going to learn it eventually anyway so there's no better time. That doesn't mean I treat her better or worse than the baby, I just treat her differently because she is a different age.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 2:30 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I treat all 4 of my kids according to their age, personality and maturity level. This is not to be misconstued as loving them differently. Parents should love all their kids the same with no favorites. But, responsibility-wise, kids can be at different levels regardless of age. My 18 year old twin boys are more responsible (in many areas) than my 31 yo DD. My 33 yo DD is the most responsible of them all just due to her persaonality and goals. Not because she is the oldest.

    Answer by specialwingz at 2:40 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I'll put it in more simple terms. I treat them differently but not less.

    Answer by GinNTonic at 3:07 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Well he is treated a little differently only because he is expected to be a little more responsible then his sister who is 2 years younger. He is responsible for feeding the dog and cleaning his toys up and she is only responsible for cleaning her toys up. When she is his age she will be expected to take on the same amount of responsibility and he will have a little more too since he will still be older.

    Answer by aeneva at 3:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • My kids are all responsible for there own behaviors


    Answer by kileighsmommie at 5:21 PM on Oct. 25, 2010