Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Cliques in Elementary

Have you had to deal with cliquey behavior yet? My daughter is in 3rd grade and I'm already seeing some very undesirable behavior from her classmates and fellow Brownie troop members.

How did you handle it that was the most effective?


Asked by DivaDynamite at 2:49 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 16 (2,613 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think it is, unfortunately, inevitable!!! Really, all you can do it teach her to treat everyone fair and with respect!! The way she would want to be. I worry too about this when my kids are older! It is tough in school!! Teach her to be the girl everyoen wants to be friends with! Great questions =)

    Answer by dragonflylovr19 at 12:42 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • How would I handle it? I wouldn't. I would rather coach my child. There would be no benefit to an adult stepping in to a peer relationship/social interaction and attempting to solve/fix/improve it. I'd rather my child learn to become competent to handle it on her own.

    Even in first grade, some of these "undesirable" situations begin to occur. I teach her to treat everyone fairly and kindly, and encourage her to choose friends who do the same.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:00 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Im so glad to see you are paying attention to this, my mom was clueless or couldnt care less and i was always the odd one out :( I never want to just let my kids deal with that on their own, it was extremely hard.

    Answer by sarlove01 at 12:33 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I dont think there is much you can do at that point to intervine...I would be embarassed if my mom tried to step in and do something about it...its a part of life, there will be cliques EVERYWHERE, for the rest of her life. My advice:let her explore the social interactions on her own, she will figure out what works best for her and what she wants.

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 2:55 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I hope you get some good answers. I am seeing it real bad this year (4th). The "popular" crowd has formed and the girls are just mean already. I tell my DD how these girls are not worth it, that they are not your true friend and to show them that it doesn't affect her. The only things I can say I guess. The problem with my DD is that she doesn't stick up for herself and so naive about it all. The one girl that has been mean to her actually called her out of nowhere this weekend to come over. So my DD thinks that this girl got over whatever it was. I didn't let her go. She most likely wouldn't talk to her again at school and hurt DD feelings all over again.

    Answer by Roisin07 at 2:55 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Sure. And sometimes even teacher inspired. All I can say is how I would handle it. If my child was bullied by a specific group I would go through the proper chanels to protect him. If he is just left out I would enroll him in non related to school activities so he had a group outside of his class. I would encorage friends over and social events. Not to push it but being supportive. There are work cliques. Learning to cope and work through it now is vital to navigate well in the adult arena. But if my child's mental health was impacted then I would take swift messures to protect that in the best way I can given whatever the circumstances are. But yes, I know even lite kids form cliques.

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:57 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Coaching your child and giving guidance is a way of handling it.

    Thanks for all your wisdom, ladies. There's some great advice here. I hope it keeps coming in.

    Comment by DivaDynamite (original poster) at 4:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • unfortunately this is happeing so young but theres not much u can do except talk with ur child and explain to her that it has nothing to do with her and that its better to have one true friend than 10 friends who talk bad about you. keep her self esteem up by always telling her how great she is at things maybe try to incorporate her in an activity with someone she is friends with and is comfortable around

    Answer by mg25 at 4:29 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I have also been seeing different behavior in my kindergardener since we have started school but I can't seem to get her to talk to me about it. I have also been wondering if there were the cliques going on but I would think it was too early for that. I would think the best way to handle them is to try and get your daughter to talk to you about them to see what she thinks is going on.

    Answer by mwallace1023 at 5:39 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Lots of good comments, ladies. Thank you!

    Comment by DivaDynamite (original poster) at 10:56 PM on Nov. 8, 2010