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how can i get my three year old to start liking the idea of sharing?


Asked by Mamii0f2 at 3:56 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 11 (609 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • Model it with her. Share things with her and make a big deal about it. Ask her if she likes it when you share with her. Ask her to share with you or someone else, and when she does praise her a lot. At first make your sharing requests only with things she is not super attached to so she will be less tempted to fight it. If she has friends or siblings to share with ask her to share a plate of cookies with them (make sure the cookies are all the same and there are enough for everyone). When she gets down sharing things that don't cost her (like the cookies) then you can try tackling things that will be harder for her to give up. Getting her to "like" sharing her favorite toy may not happen, but you can get her on board in general by making it fun. If she doesn't want to share her favorite toy, you might need to put it away for now when she has company.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:08 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • My son had the same problem when his baby brother started getting old enough to share his toys. what my husband and i found that finally worked seemed so cruel at the time, but i'm very glad we used it. we bought things he liked such as oreos or special toys and we used them ourselves. we wouldnt share them with him no matter what he said, but told him "we dont want to share, because sharing isnt fun" that's what he was always telling us. after a 2 week span of fits and us not sharing he told us that sharing was good and we should share so we told him we would if he'd start sharing with his brother. that was almost 2 years ago and now whenever we bring home a new toy or buy something he really likes he makes sure we know his brother might want something too, but not to worry because he can just share with him. i hope this helps if you havent found the answer already!

    Answer by LisaLand33 at 4:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • You know when my kids were that age, I found myself a set of books that were aimed in that direction and I use to read it to them often, until it sank in. Sorry it has been so long, I can't remember the author or where I got them but I am sure that if you hunt for them you will find something similar.


    Answer by older at 4:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • lol good luck! Really, playing games involving turn taking is a great way to foster sharing and there are tons of great preschool games out now. Also, if you see him sharing nicely with someone else, reward him either with effusive praise or even a treat every now and then. If you can't catch him in the act, set it up so that he DOES share with someone like Dad and then reward him with the praise.

    Answer by missanc at 4:04 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Oops. I'm not sure why I thought your 3 year old was a girl, but it works the same way with a boy.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:10 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • My husband and i have always modeled this behavior since birth. My son also tends preschool and they are required to share. MY son is a natural sharer though. Tell him/her that they have to share and explain why it is important. Also there are tons of books about it.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 6:04 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I don't know that they ever actually learn to "like" it as much as they learn to accept it. :) I agree with other posters about modeling the behavior. My son is decidedly not a natural sharer but he's getting better. If he won't share with me, I won't play with him. He's learning that other kids feel the same way. If he won't share at a playground, we leave. We talk a lot about taking turns, etc. The more you talk about it, the sooner they get the idea. It also won't hurt to let him have toys that he doesn't have to share, he just can't play with them when other kids are around if he isn't willing to share.

    Answer by momofryan07 at 9:13 PM on Oct. 25, 2010