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is this normal? and how to discipline a 4 year old for something he did at school?

my son is almost 5 years old and he's recently been in trouble at his preschool. ive recieved 2 letters about his behavior. the first one stated he was hitting, sticking his hands in other kids foods and not listening to his teachers. i went to his school and had a conversation with him and his teacher and she said normally he's one of her best students and she thinks he was just having a bad day. not een 3 weeks later i recieed another letter stating that he spent the day back talking his teachers, being distruptive, calling people (including his teachers) stupid, and told them if they sent me a letter he'd cut it up. they said they asked him what was going on and he said his belly hurt and he didnt want to come to school but daddy makes him. they had to remove him from activities to discuss his behavior several times today. is this normal behavior? and how do i discipline him for something he did at school?

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Brett S.

Asked by Brett S. at 4:30 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 6 (151 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • That does seem strange that the behavior change was so sudden. If this is totally out of character for your child, then I'd wonder what was going on that caused him to act out this way. Have you & hubby been fighting? Is there a child in his preschool that is being mean to him? Any deaths in the family? Anything at all that could be causing him to behave this way? Once you figure that out, I bet things will be better. Good luck.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:35 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • when my son doesnt participate at school or is rude his teachers and I came up with a plan to take away something he likes. Such as he loves recess so if he is bad no recess that day or she will tell him if you don't participate mommy said no movie tonight at bedtime. He got it within a day. Also his school does a red light, yellow light, green light strategy. If he is good he stays on green light, does something bad he gets put on yellow light as a warning, does it again is then on Red light until he behaves again. My son HATES it and is always on green light.

    Answer by travisnowensmom at 4:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • i think you should just talk with your kid..tell him its not nice to act that way at school. You have to look at where he could be learning to act like this though. calling people "stupid"..who is saying this around him? kids are easily influenced at that age..

    Answer by shay1130 at 4:38 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I worked at a preschool. Bad behavior every now and then is normal. Even the good kids had bad days. I would, as a teacher, wonder if something had happened at home or even if the child had lost sleep. As far as punishment, YES YES YES. The worst kids at the school, are the ones that don't get in trouble at home for being bad at school. If he is bad at school, he should loose privilages at home. Take away his favorite thing until he comes home from school the next day with a good report.

    Answer by dancinintherain at 5:13 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • We have a 3 year old that we are sending to prek as well. She is having some issues as well. As a teacher I say there has to be a consequence at home BUT when they are older, like my daughter he might be to little to make the connection. We are frustrated as well, but it's still early in the yr, he may need time to adjust

    Answer by sophiasmom37 at 7:31 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

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