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Positive Discipline Help

I need some help on positive discipline. TOs do not work for my child so please do not suggest this. For the past 2 weeks my positive disciplining has worked by lately it has gotten old in his eyes. I have a reward chart and talk with him about choices etc. Yes, he has consequences such as being carried if he does not hold my hand, loosing priveledges like TV or a special event we planned on that day. It has been so bad the last few days where he has been completely nuts to where he has kicked me. I lost my cool and spanked him which I soo do not want to do and I know it won't work with him. I feel horrible and sick to my stomach that I did it. Can someone help me with more positive techniques??

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (4)
  • It sounds like your trying-don't give up. what about an activity to do-like a mommy and me class? we all lose are cool with our kids don't beat yourself up over it.
    I would not give up on the chart-just find different things he may want to work towards.

    Answer by sophiasmom37 at 7:38 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • thanks momma..we do alot of activities together but he is a "strong willed" child which can make things more difficult

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:42 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Positive parenting means not only reprimanding him when he misbehaves, but catching him being good too and making sure to praise him immediately when he does well. Make sure your rules are fair, consistent and age-appropriate. At that age, kids do not yet understand verbal negatives. "No", "Not" and "don't" just do not compute. So when you tell a pre-schooler, "don't climb on that chair," they literally hear "---- climb on that chair." Steer him positively toward a desired activity instead or redirect him by pointing out how to sit in a chair properly.

    At age 3-4, a week is an ETERNITY so make sure whatever punishments/rewards doled out occur swiftly, preferably the same day. Otherwise he'll be confused because he won't remember what he did to deserve it. He'll associate the reward/punishment w/ more recent behavior.

    Answer by geminilove at 7:58 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • thanks gemini..I do those things...we have NEVER used the word "no"...instead of saying "dont draw on the wall" i usually say "lets draw on the paper." I always compliment him on the "good things" I used to be a teacher so i undertand allot ot that...As far as the rewards or consequences being too far away I am realizing that...I think even a few hours from the scenatio is too much time...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:06 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

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