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3 Bumps

I know this shouldnt make me feel bad ....

I dated the same guy all through high school . I was so in love and soo devastated when he cheated on me ( several times) , and after we broke up and I woke up, I realized how bad to me he really was ( putting me down all the time, etc) .

So I kind of always hoped in a way that my life would always be better than his ( especially after he told me I would never have anyone treat me better than he did ). Well 6 years later I find out that not only is he happily married to someone who looks like a model but is pregnant with his 3rd on the way , he has a mini mansion a great job, a bunch of nice cars, everything someone could hope for in life.

and now I am sitting here feeling even worse because not only am I not at all in love with my husband but we constantly fight - on the verge of divorce, but I have to work 2 jobs just to keep our tiny house that is falling apart....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (19)
  • So what? You wish you'd stayed with the guy who treated you like crap?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:44 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • just cuz his in his high point don't mean he will stay at the top happy with what you have...if things are falling apart it is cuz you are to focus on your pass...let the pass be the pass and enjoy your need to be stalking the guy...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 7:46 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Oh, don't feel bad hon:( You never know what is really going on behind closed doors. I highly doubt he has changed much, so most likely his wife is being just as mistreated as you were. As for all of his stuff, how can you really be sure he can actually afford any of it? It could be he is drowning in debt. Don't worry, if he is the ass you say he is, his life will eventually implode.

    Answer by shanlaree at 7:46 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • The fact is, bad things don't always happen to bad people, and good things don't only happen to good people... I understand how you feel, because of the way he treated you, you feel like you should have a better life than him (the whole karma thing), and it doesn't appear that's the case. But honestly, you only see what he has on the outside. You don't know how his relationship is, you don't know if he's happy, you just see the material things. And in the end, material things just don't matter. Yes, your life may not be in a good spot right now, but you don't know what's going to happen down the road... Just try to be the best person you can be, try to make yourself happy, and things will work out in the end....

    Answer by Anouck at 7:46 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • keep your chin up, everyday you wake up just think positive thoughts never put your husband down, and when you think of your ex remember that you are in that situation for a reson. I understand you feel bad and not doing as good as you wanted. Just keep your head held high if not for you for your children.

    Answer by EliasMommyDec09 at 7:47 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • His success is not your failure. There are lots of people who have nice homes, nice cars & good marriages. There are also plenty who are struggling w/ all of those things. Hopefully you can work thru your problems & come out a stronger person. Im sure most of us have matured since high school. I know I am not the same person I was back then. It's been my life experiences (good & bad) that have made me the person I am today. I hope you will continue to learn & grow & reach a point in your life that doesn't require you to look back at what was, but rather what can be.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:49 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Just out of curiosity, how do you even know for sure that his life is "better" than yours? Just because he has more wealth or a good looking wife, doesn't make his life better. For all you know he could be miserable, not that you should wish that on someone or anything. But whether we are happy or not, or have what we percieve to be a good life, is all about our own we choose to look at it. Maybe your relationship is not going so great, but what about your children, are they happy, healthy? I'm sure you have many blessings in your life, but maybe you are just not in a mental place to see them.

    Don't waste your time comparing yourself to others, but rather do what you need to do to get yourself in a situation you want to be in. You don't know what lies ahead for you. It could be great things! Stay positive.

    Answer by moniquinha at 7:50 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Sweetie, It doesnt take much to seem like you have a great life, and its even easier when you have money to cover everything up, but my biggest guess is that if he treated you like shit, then hes treating her like shit and probably because it seems theyve been together quite awhile its probably worse for her, but if he has money and the kids are taken care of and she doesnt have any other good options, she will stay... and put up with it.... im sure its not as it seems.

    Answer by shannonrenee09 at 8:01 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Yeah it is really strange, how life sometimes turns out, but you weren't happy, he cheated and treated you badly. So, perk up, and look on the bright side! You have your wonderful children :)

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I think if you were happy in your own life you would not care so much. Just get through your hardships and realize that his life is his and yours is yours. We have to all live our own lifes. I know his life looks great and it may be. But yours can too in time. It will get better.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 12:22 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

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