Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Give up, or keep holding on? adult content

I dont think 940 characters is enough to get it out but here goes...
This is my second go around with being pregnant, I just turned 20 yrs old, and I have a 15 month old and im 18 wks. pregnant. Ive been with the same guy for 3 and a half yrs now. The first time I got pregnant, I became very mean, and I even remember almost blacking out when I would get so mad, trying to kick him in the balls, break his things. Eventually he left, and after the first trimester I calmed down and was able to realize how stupid I was. I love this man, more than I love myself. He dated other girls, and I just sat at home pregnant crying and miserable for the next 7 months. After the baby was born we got back together and everything was great. We really were so happy. We got married in March, and then we planned to have another child i made sure he knew that my attitude was going to soar, im going to continue on another slide ...

 
shannonrenee09

Asked by shannonrenee09 at 8:08 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (318 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I just read your third part... As far as who will want you, well there are plenty of good men out there, and really it sounds like you need to work on you and taking care of your kids for awhile rather than worrying about a relationship with someone else. As for friends, they won't come to you, you have to go out and find them. Join some kind of club or group that interests you. Again, so sorry and be strong.

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:20 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Don't just give up hon, run far, far away. No one deserves to be treated like this. Sounds like he uses your pregnancy mood swings to get action on the side. Not only that but he is emotionally abusive towards you and now he is laying his hands on you. It will never get better, only worse. The groundwork has been laid in your relationship and no amount of counseling will ever fix this. Sorry:(

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:17 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • That sounds like a very unhealthy relationship I notice you said you love him more than yourself but to truely love someone else you must 1st love god and yourself. Then you need to think about the fact that you have a child that depends on you and another one coming soon so THEY need to be your main priority please don't take this as me being me because im not trying to be in any way. For the baby you are carryings sake try not to stress because stressing over my cheating husband at the age of 19 was what caused my sont to be born premature. relax and focus on you and your babies good luck and god bless :)
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 8:20 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I'd talk to a doctor about your mood swings. I bet theres something they can give you for that! Good luck.
    hmhmom

    Answer by hmhmom at 8:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Get out of that relationship now!!!!! Whats more important you and your kids or him?
    nicjon

    Answer by nicjon at 8:15 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Girl, do you have any idea how many blended families there are now a days? There are so many men out there that don't care if you have kids. A real man, one that actually cares about you, will love your kids, too. This guy, he's not a man. He's not a good person. He's lost his damn mind, and you need to get away from him. No one here can tell you how. We can't make you, you have to just find a way. You have to do it for yourself. If not for yourself, for your kids. I will tell you what I tell everyone in this sort of mess, your kids will grow up thinking this is what marriage is supposed to be like. If you have a son, he will think it's ok to beat his girlfriends, then his wife. If you have a daughter, she will think she is supposed to be in an abusive relationship. They will grow up with a warped thinking of 'this is how to show love'. Is that what you want? I don't think so. Find a way. Get out now, get over him later.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:23 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Well I let it be known as an option, not because I wanted it to but because my hormones go crazy practically. Well the first bad fight we got into after we finally got pregnant he used as an excuse and left me again after he swore that he wouldnt. Now I sit around waiting on him to come over to see his son, he comes over roughly 4 days a week for about 2 hrs at a time, sometimes he basically thinks he privledges me and has sex with me, but I cant kiss him or hug him or anything while we are in the process, i cant kiss him or touch him either way, He calls me names, he treats me like complete crap, tells me he hates me, when I cry and ask him to come back he gets meaner, yells at me for crying, he basically uses me. I know that i dont deserve to be treated this way. Sometimes I do indeed rear back to hit him, or i run after him but instead of me being the one to use force, he now puts his hands on me.
    shannonrenee09

    Comment by shannonrenee09 (original poster) at 8:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • im left with constant bruises, soreness, and then he just tells me hes sorry, but he doesnt think anything will get better, and he doesnt want to try, but no matter what happens its like i cant move on, I love him. I always end up telling him im sorry that its my fault, and that i will just be quiet so that i can make him happy... How can I let him go, how can i move on, i feel like no one will ever want me again, 20 with 2 kids... who wants that responsibility? I have one friend that doesnt even live here, nothing to keep my mind off of him... please please help me..
    shannonrenee09

    Comment by shannonrenee09 (original poster) at 8:15 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I think you really need to sit down and consintrate on whats important to you. It could stay the same, you guys could be happy and every once and a while get into a fight, forgive eachother and move on. It could start to get worse, during a fight he could slap you, kick you, punch you, or kill you. You need to know if thats what you want (hopefully not)! You also need to think about your child soon to be children... do you want them to grow up thinking thats how a relationship is supposed to work?! I dont think you do. Your still young (i can say that because im 20 too) you have your whole life ahead of you. Dont think you wont ever get someone else justbecause your 20 with 2 kids. There are nice guys out there. If you need to talk more feel free to message me.
    mommyofAurora

    Answer by mommyofAurora at 8:22 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • I had 3 kids already prior to finding my current fiance and he loves us all :) You are still very young you have plenty of time to find the right guy for you.
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 8:23 PM on Oct. 25, 2010