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Ok so my fiancee just got back from his army training...

he was away for 4 months...When he came home I found out he had slept with 2 girls before he on MY birthday, and the other...had been writting him too!! And as she read HER letters to me, we discovered THEY WERE WORD FOR WORD THE SAME...Then I left him and he slept with her again...BUT LIED...She thought she was pregnant while he was gone, AND thinks she is now..(she isnt) Now to the point...Im 37weeks pregnant with his baby...Do I leave him now...Im only 19 I cant do it alone...But do I let this baby get attatched to a lying cheater?He also promises change but hasnt yet..?!?!? HELP!

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jul. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • wow honny i feel so awful for you because i have been in a silimar problem, but you have to think about what is best for that child im not going to tell you to stay with him if you are not happy but he can still be a father to the child and maybe haveing a baby will starighten him up a bit i know it did my husband. I understand that you are young i am 20 and preg. with my 2nd baby and i think everyday there is no way i could do this alone but if it comes down to it you can you just have to have faith and a good support system

    Answer by mommadent at 9:16 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • O.K. for shock factor and to make him relize that your serious about him changing his ways you need to leave him. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ON YOUR OWN........listen to your head about this guy not your heart. If you believe he can change than make him prove it to you.

    Answer by two.under.two at 9:24 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Wow is right....If you do leave him remember the military WILL garnish his wages and you will get support from him while he is in the army. I dont know if the baby will get medical benifits though. If you leave and he refuses to pay, call up the base commander. They HATE when guys try and be dead beat dad's.....It's a personal decision to try and make it work and forgive him or not. I agree you should listen to your head and not your scared heart. I wish you all the luck possible.

    Answer by vbruno at 9:29 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • i agree its a decision your head should make...have you considered what will happen to that baby if he gives you aids? cheating is a hurtful thing, but in today's night life, it can also bring about life long medical conditions. this is gonna sound crude, but before you let him stick it in you, you should be aware of where he's stuck it before. you know?

    Answer by princezzmommie at 10:02 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • You can do it alone. There are plenty of programs for women in your position. All you have to do is get in contact with his command and he will have to pay child support. All you have to do is be strong and dont listen to his tom foolery. Shut him out as he has shut you out.

    Answer by GoldieLocks18 at 10:51 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • see, were only engaged...and to be blunt he used to be my b*%^h until he got a taste for lying...I know this baby needs a father and I know he needs a reality shock, and holding his child for the first time will almost certainly set him straight, i have been with him since I was 10, ya I know...he has been with 3 girls through our almost 10 year relationship and I have been with HIM...He is about to be 21...REALLY soon, almost TOO soon for him to prove ANYTHING to me..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • LEAVE HIM!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I agree. DO nto stay wiht him.No matter how hurt you are and how much you want to believ he can change. UNtil you are out and see that you deserve better, he will never treat youthe way you deserve to be treated. AS for the age factor, I was 17 when I had myoldest. I was 20 when I had my third. I was a single mom wiht three kids at one point in my life.I went to school and foudn a way to be the mom i needed to be. A word of advice, don't got chasing after men. The good one will find you when you're nto looking and doing whats righ for your children. My husband found me and I could not be happier!

    Answer by kandleluv at 12:07 AM on Jul. 4, 2008

  • You can do anything. I'm doing it. You can. Be strong for your baby girl! Don't let you're baby grown up thinking it's ok.. to be treated like CRAP.. EVER. Put on your boots. :)

    Answer by KaydeeBee at 9:34 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

  • Understand a leopard never changes their spots, a tiger never changes their stripes...

    Can't means Won't...and you can do anything you set your mind to. KaydeeBee is right. It is not fair to subject your child to this type of behavior. The baby did not ask to be put in this position and should NOT be subjected to such. Start anew, and build a new life for you and your child. There are lots of places out there that help young mothers. Since you apparently have internet access, research places on line. You CAN do it!

    Answer by mapleleafwoman at 6:36 PM on Jul. 26, 2008

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