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SOO MAD ! I need advice before I beat my husband to death !!!

My husband lost his job, and so now unemployment and the money I make from taking care of 3 other kids ( I have 2 ) is our only income - he is looking, and goes out and puts applicationss in, but majority of the time he is here. But yet he wants to be treated as if he is still working outside of the home - meaning he doesnt want to do a damn thing to help out, and when he does he thinks he needs a parade.

Since July he has washed dishes 3 times ! And is literally arguing with me that he washes them everytime I go out - trying ot make it sound like I go out alot when in fact in the last several months the only times I have went "out" is when i went to church with my grandparents and when my mom took me out to eat for my b-day.

But tonight did it... My back is out to where I cant even stand up straight, when I walk I am literally bent over. so i told him I am probably not going to * continued below*

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2lilbumblebees

Asked by 2lilbumblebees at 11:30 PM on Oct. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,121 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • beable to watch 2 of the kids that I take care of ( brothers ) because they are babies and i constantly have to carry them around and hold them... and I just dont think that I can fully take care of them with my back like this ( this happens alot and everytime my back is like this it gets worse each day for about 3-4 days) ... So he gets mad and talks to me like a child trying to get out of school... like I am just pretending to be bent over in pain.... I told him he can be the one who chases them around and stuff tomorrow instead of watching tv and playing on the internet, and he gets madder telling me since I am already saying I cant watch them tomorrow, why dont I just never watch them again , and blah blah blah ...

    I get so mad when he acts like an a$$... I am so fed up I seriously can picture strangling him .....

    I need adivce on how to 1. calm down when he acts like this
    2lilbumblebees

    Comment by 2lilbumblebees (original poster) at 11:35 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • It is hard on a mans ego to lose his job, they typically want to be the bread winner and when they can't provide that role it hits them hard...it sounds like he is depressed about losing his job, his identity. You need to CALMLY talk to him and tell him what you expect of him while he is home, that may help.
    anikahaynes1

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 11:35 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • because i do not want to yell and argue in front of the kids, but I am almost to the limit to where I know I wont be able to stop if I do start.

    and 2. what I can say to him to make him understand that he technically isnt contributing anything to the household right now so he needs to get off of his high horse.
    2lilbumblebees

    Comment by 2lilbumblebees (original poster) at 11:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Thanks anikahaynes1 ... I know that he is upset over it because he does want to provide for his family and I know he feels like a loser .... but he has always acted like this, but it is just intensified and that is why I am to this point.
    2lilbumblebees

    Comment by 2lilbumblebees (original poster) at 11:38 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • JUST CHOKE HIM! hahhaah ONLY kidding.

    she's right, calmly talk to him. but in all honesty, you need to explain to him that you need his help. maybe yall can make a deal out or something.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 11:38 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • Try helping him find a job. seriously. Like literally apply yourself jobs for him. Also, if you are the only one making any real money then you should be able to make the decisions on finances. I think your first decision should be-dh goes to a lot of interviews!!!!
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:43 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • wow he needs to man up and know that since he is not working that he does need to take responsability around the house too... my husband lost is job a little over a year ago and it really has been hard for him to find work and i to know that he has been looking and putting in apps every where... and now i work while he takes care of our son... but he does get unemployment and now have two incomes coming in... but he does clean and do laundry when i'm at work and even through the day... but when i'm off work we both take part in taking care of our son... and it works out for us untill he lands a job.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 11:49 PM on Oct. 25, 2010

  • He's not giving her a chance to get a word out edgewise. She said he's been like this. A lot. I feel that he is giving her an excuse to just use her more and get her disabled even though she is doing all. ALL is never enough, he'll abuse her until she either leaves then push for her to come back to get her disability check. I see she said she needed to calm down to talk to him, but ............come on.
    THIS ISN'T REAL when a man gives nothing to her and uses her, and then cuts her off by not working and wanting a parade.
    REALLY? And we aren't talking about her watching children being paid either. some nerve he has.
    Ok.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 1:09 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Plus, here's what I would do. Get into more church since that is what it seems you love. Let those children get exposed there with you, and try to see if you can go find other work outside of watching children. I mean this man is a womanizer obviously.
    He'd rather have her fall on her face. Then blame her after.
    Please, you need to get work, not tell him and then just leave. Just don't let him know
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 1:12 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Why are men so weak? I mean some work but they all seem to want all or nothing. Don't they get that it's not a picnic trying to have all of the children, meals, home, and him all taken perfect care of. ? I don't mean to hurt her future, but some times men create all their own problems.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 1:16 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

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