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grandmama drama.

I honostly dont even know where to being with all this B.S.

ok, my mom's mom has been nothing but a bitch to me, my whole life.

I have always screwed up in life from the time when i was 7 years old with an attitude & talking back to my parents to when i was 17yrs old & a drug addict.

Anyways, i have overcome so much in my life & now i am married and i have a 7 month old son. well, for christmas, my mom really wants me to be at her house (christmas eve). the thing is, i refuse to see her mother. she has always treated my older sister better than me. always gotten her nicer presents. cont.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • for my wedding, she gave me (which, dont get me wrong, i GREATLY appreciate it) 50$ gift certificate to publix. but, shortly after, for my sisters (who still lives with my mom) 21st birthday, she gave her 200$. i dont know, mabey it's just me but a wedding seems more important than a 21st?!?! and when i saw her for the last time to say goodbye, she didnt even look at me, FOR NO REASON! when i had began to overcome my addiction, i was in recovery and she sent me a letter in the mail about how much i hurt my mother and dissapointed everyone. she went on & on about how my mother didnt raise me like 'that'. and when my son was born, she was on vacation only 6 hours away. i asked if she could come and meet him & she said " oh my god, no! i am NOT driving all the way for THAT!" & i just DONT want to see her. my mom really want me to. i dont know what to do. i dont feel as though she deserves to meet my son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • i know exactly what u mean i went threw the exact same thing with my grandma and my mother in law. my grandma even said infront of me to her friend that my other cousin is her favorite grandaughter just cause she gave her a female grandchild, how retarded is that right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • and cause shes the oldest. but i just blow them off. and especially i try to saty away from my mother in law.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • This is a tough one...I know that your grandmother has treated you badly in the past but during your addiction, you also hurt many people as well...forgive and forget?

    Then on that same hand, despite it all, she is your grandmother and she should've been supportive and encouraging to you, your whole life, instead of having a favorite granchild in your sister. She should've treated you both the same...

    Like I said, this is a tough decision for you to make...if allowing her to meet your son would be beneficial for him then I say go ahead...if spending time with your mom is what you want to do go ahead...when you see your grandmother, greet her and ignore her for the rest of the time you are there.
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 12:26 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Part of recovery is making ammends. YOu still seem really angry- I don't blame you. If its gonna do more harm than good, tell your mom how you feel. Maybe you can sit down with your mom and gramma and try to get it all out inthe open. all you can do is be honest and speak your mind- then if your gramma still acts that way -it's her problem. I am not badmouthing you at all, I'm speaking from experience- sometimes it takes people a long time to trust and forgive people who have had an addiction and caused a lot of hurt. btw- you have to forgive yourself too! I would say talk to them, keep doing right and maybe she'll come around. in the mean time I would sy - you dont have to put yourself in that situation where you are gong to be treated like crap. Good luck!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • You know, you could always be the better person and go...be nice, hold no grudges and just try to enjoy your mother's company. Don't be rude to your grandma...just dont expect her to be nice.
    raybell

    Answer by raybell at 1:46 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • At first thought, I was thinking about my nephew that keeps cleaning up long enough to convince a few that he's all better only to not just fall off the wagon but leave atleast one financially wounded on his way down. I have no sympathy for him at all, I don't want him in my home, I don't want him even in my presence. It's not because I don't like him, but because I don't trust him and I'm tired of seeing the way he does his Mom. I'm just all the time waiting for the next shoe to fall and hoping that he'll prove me wrong at the same time.  Prove her wrong, show up and be the bigger person.  I'm rooting for you.  Would be nice to see someone overcome the addictions and stay on the upside :)

    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:04 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • You souldn't have to visit her if she can't respect you. Sometimes we have toxic people in our family and it's never OK to keep being around toxic people even if they're family. If she doesn't appreciate you then there is not way she'll appreciate your son. Until she can come around more you should be thinking about how your son will feel if he sees her on and off and ends up being you years later. The older generation needs to be to us what they want us to be to them early on so that when we grow up the bond will be there and naturally we'll come around. Don't do it. My mother does the samething to me but instead it's my father that's the biggest issue.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:01 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

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