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2 Bumps

bi polar

how would you handle it if you found out your husband had a mental problem, like being bi polar, and doesn't want help yet. Would you leave and support him from afar or stay and help him until he's ready for help even if this could take a long time?

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meagan678

Asked by meagan678 at 12:37 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Health

Level 19 (6,793 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Truthfully I am not sure. Thankfully, I am not in that situation, so I can't answer it honestly. However, for what it's worth, I can't just automatically say I would stay.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:41 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I would probably not give up being as serious as bipolar is without meds/ help, maybe make an appt to go WITH him so you can see what the doc has to say.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:41 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • It would depend on how things were going in general. If he was totally causing my life & my children's lives to be hell I would leave until he found proper help. My ex is an alcoholic. He refused help. I did what I what I could but after awhile it became clear that all I was doing was suffering & making my kids suffer for no reason. I have a friend who is bi polar & I know its difficult but you can manage it & have a good life if you want to. It shouldn't be used as an excuse to be mean or thoughtless (I have a family member whose husband is bi polar & he does that). You can be supportive of someone without having to suffer along with them.
    lisa89j

    Answer by lisa89j at 12:42 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • i have a illness a like his and i am thankful that my husband is by my side day in day out...i do get BAD episodes and i do lash out over nothing at times but i am grateful to have his support...him and my mother are the only two that have been by my side threw everything...having an illness like this IS PAINFUL and requires a lot...if his abusive DO NOT PUT UP WITH IT...but help him as much as you cam...when you both said your I DO's is threw thick and thin bad and good...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:44 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • im not sure if this goes hand in hand with bi polar but is also a compulsive liar, i feel like i dont know my husband at all and dont know how to come out of this
    meagan678

    Comment by meagan678 (original poster) at 12:46 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • everyone is different he might be do to his bi polar or maybe it's just who he is...i have a mental illness as well and I HATE LIES...i do not lie and do not allow others to lie to me...that is the worst someone can ever do to me...drug use is one of the signs when a person is not seeking help...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 12:49 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • My friend who is bi polar is not a compulsive liar. My sister on the other hand (who isn't bi polar) IS a compulsive liar. I'd rather be with my bi polar friend any day over my lying sister! Being a compulsive liar is a whole other problem as far as I can see.
    lisa89j

    Answer by lisa89j at 12:54 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I spent over 10 years dealing with a mate with mental health issues dually challenged with substance abuse. I still love him but I could not continue having expectations of him that were unattainable.Therefore we are no longer mates. We are however, friends!!
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 1:20 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • it would depend on the severity and the actions of the person. I was dx when younger with bipolar..definately am.. as well as other mental illnesses(I believe now its more aspergers) anyway.. when I was at the beginning of treatment, and height of problems I would not have wanted to be with me.. Now though I do not take meds but have found other ways of controlling and coping with my illness and am fairly liviable with, at least my hubby seems to agree lol.

    my ex was schizophrenic and abusive...not all of the abuse was due to the schizo.(just him) but I found out later that his mental health professionals knew he was having dillusions and voices about killing me, and because of patient confendiality were not able/did not tell me.

    So depends on severity and quality of life...if he is making your life a living hell and not willing to try and make things better(at least try) then I would suggest helping from afar.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:37 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

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