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3 Bumps

10 yrs should I divorce?

Married 10 yrs this month have 3 kids; 9,7,2. Found out husband was having affair in feburary. I kicked him out for 6 mos and then let him move back in after he swore to me things were over. Just found out he still talking to person and his still telling her he loves her. They work together and she knows about me and kids.
I'm catholic n divorce is frowned upon but we also didn't get married in church because he is not Catholic. My family says they'll support me no matter what but are also suggesting that I stay and just deal. I'm on the fence on divorce or legal seperation. So if anyone out there could explain the benfits of legal seperation to me I'd greatly appreciate it. Also, I don't have a steady income so money is an issue if it comesdown to hiring a lawyer.

Thank you,
lost n confused in WI


Asked by Anonymous at 6:42 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I agree with NannyB! There is no reason why YOU should be disrespected and taken for granted--regardless of your religious faith (I too are Catholic). Your husband made a VOW to love, honor and respect you! YOU have honored your vows.....he has not!! Therefore, as far as I would be concerned, the vows are null and void!!

    It takes TWO committed people to make a relationship work. You cannot force someone to care if they don't. If I were you, I would file for divorce. Your husband has broken the trust between you, and believe you me, your children are watching your every move, and learning about relationships via your example. What do you want to teach them--especially your daughter? That you are a strong woman, or that you are weak, and will allow a man to take advantage of you, because of your religion?? Just something to think about!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:47 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • You have 10 years invested in this marriage, and you have 3 children who will greatly benefit from growing up in a 2-parent home. At the same time, you should respect yourself enough to not share your husband with another woman. There is a wonderful book that deals with situations like yours. It's LOVE MUST BE TOUGH by Dr. James Dobson. If I were you, I would read that book and seriously consider the options outlined in it. It's not always true that divorce is the only answer!

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:18 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • wow,sorry to hear, you gave him a second chance and he effed that up he's not gonna change,nor does he care....let him goooooo!!!!

    Answer by angie3897 at 7:53 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • You gave him a second chance, and he continued to betray you. File for a legal separation - it will define money, time with the children, etc. This will protect you while you decide if you want to be divorced.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:08 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • How do you know he's part owner of the home?

    And it doesn't matter, she can kick him out since her children live there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • does your happiness not matter???? just deal with it He is cheating on you.... you shouldn't have to deal with it... yes 10 years is a very long time but if he is not willing to actually change. then i wouldn't stay.. try talking to him about it. our better yet tell him if he gets to sleep around then you should too. im not saying you have to do it or talk to a coworker or a friend with a husband about giving him a taste of his own medicine write "fake" messages back and forth and leave them around have him 'send ' you flowers.... "you could do this yourself or have a friend do it" and see how he likes being " cheated" on.

    Answer by proudmomma0708 at 3:57 PM on Oct. 26, 2010