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3 Bumps

SO annoyed.

My DH is VERY much into his jeep. As of recently, though, it's gotten REALLY annoying. Anytime we have ANY extra money (which is RARE) he SUDDENLY needs to buy something for the jeep or 'it won't run'. Now, if that money had never showed up, what would he have done then? He's only saying he needs it so that I won't complain about him spending our money on something he wants for his jeep instead of spending it on the family! We NEVER get to take our kids to do anything fun, so when we get extra money that's what I really want to put it towards, the kids! I've voiced this to him and the only thing he has to say is "well I guess i'll be driving your car to work and back and you'll be left without a car because if I don't buy this part then I can't drive my jeep"... When his jeep was running JUST FINE before we suddenly got some extra money. Anyone have any advice? He's now taking money out of important savings, too! :(

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Ihavehope9

Asked by Ihavehope9 at 8:05 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (101 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Well, I would test his "my jeep won't run" theory and not give in the next time. Is there any way you can start saving money "on the side" without him knowing? This is a situation that I could not live with, I don't know all the details of your life so I can't say what you should do... but if this were the case in my house, I would throw out an ultimatum... either quit wasting our money on the jeep or get out! Good luck:)

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:28 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • yea i agree with (shanlaree)don't give in the next time and see what happends and i would let him know your not going to be putting anymore money that is extra in his jeep until you are able to do the things you would like to do with the kids..
    gracelessstar21

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 8:38 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Are you sure he's spending money on the Jeep and not on a gambling compulsion, drug habit, or a side girlfriend? It sounds suspicious to me. Have you driven the Jeep? Does he have any part receipts? Mechanic bills?
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 8:52 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I would also tell him no more $ goes into the jeep! If it does not run (especially after all the $ he has already put in it) that is his problem not mine and he WON'T be using my car! I would also start making noises about how the jeep is a 'money pit' always needing new parts to make it run and that it is time to trade it in for a nice family car. If he does not like it, then he better stop being selfish and start thinking of the family. If it is joint money in a joint account I would take a good size chunk out and open up my own account in only my name- and put that money aside for the kids. If he does not like it-- TOO BAD!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:58 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • @ MommaofH2- I know he's putting it into the jeep because he brings the parts home and I check our bank account. He thinks i'm being selfish because the jeep is his only "passion" besides the family, and thinks if I were to take that away from him that it'd totally not be fair, and I shouldn't be allowed to spend money on any of my passions either. It just seems like EVERY WEEK there is SOMETHING that needs to be done to the jeep, and it doesn't come up until we have the extra $. He says "this jeep has 140k miles on it, you have to put work into it!" Which I understand but my gosh, we don't have money for the family to do ANYTHING! And asking him to get a more family friendly car is out of the question, there is NO WAY he'd give his jeep away.
    Ihavehope9

    Comment by Ihavehope9 (original poster) at 12:56 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • well that's good that the money is going where he says he is -- do you guys do a written budget? Write up a sheet that includes your monthly income, expenses, and see what $$ is left over. If it's written down and in front of him, he may be able to understand better that there is no extra money. You can budget in blow money for BOTH of you -- that way you each have money to spend on whatever the heck you want. If you need more help with budgeting, etc. check out DaveRamsey.com. I had to do the same for my DH -- actually I laminated the budget and stuck it to our fridge so he can always see how we stand financially. My DH is much more understanding about our financial situation now and he's actually managed to save up money himself!
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 3:28 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Thanks so much! :)
    Ihavehope9

    Comment by Ihavehope9 (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

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