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2 Bumps

Tell me if Im wrong...

My husband just met his real dad after 28 years, he found him on the internet and has only been talking to him for about a month or so and he just came down yesterday and is staying in a motel here in town for a week. Well my kids have this father/son thing at their school on Friday and my husband is excited about the whole having his dad around for the first time and wants to bring his dad to the father/son thing also. My thing is he dont even know this guy and he want to bring him to our kids school??? I am not crazy about the idea AT ALL! Am I wrong to tell him not to bring him not to bring him?

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AmberNicoley

Asked by AmberNicoley at 8:12 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (442 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I can see where you are coming from but I also think it would be wrong to tell your hubby that. He is trying to establish a relationship with him and that includes your children together. Your hubby will be there, so I wouldn't worry about it.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:15 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think you should have a heart to heart with him and say what he says. If you think about it from his point of view..... if he never got to go to father/son events then he might be thinking that he is making up for lost time, and doing something that he wanted so badly for himself as a child.

    I can see how it would be weird from your point of view. But at the same time, there will be a lot of people around for an event like that and it should be safe. Soooo I don't know :0/
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 8:21 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Agreeing with the other ladies.. I can see your issues but you can't stop him for trying to make a bond., yes its been along time. but he hasnt had a dad.. every kid needs their dad around. ( bar the bad daddies, and you know which ones) if they dont have a daddy they need a male role model. and he has missed this all those years.. I dont know why his dad left, but if your hubby is excited you should just let him do the dad and son thing, with his kids also. after all they are blood
    Weldo1983

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 8:26 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think you would be wrong telling him not to bring him, if this guy is bad news , he needs to see it for himself.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:33 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think he should go! I mean your husband will be there, right? I'm sure he's capable enough to take care of the kids during that time. It'll be so good for the kids to know him! What if he turns out to be the greatest grandpa ever?
    Aingls

    Answer by Aingls at 8:36 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I don't understand your reasoning. Your kids are going to be around a whole lot of dads at the school that you don't know anything about, and I assume you don't have a problem with your children going there, but you don't want them to be around their biological grandfather? It sound like your husband and his father are trying to establish a relationship, why would you want to stop that? Because if you tell your husband not to bring him, you are forcing him to choose between you and his newly-found father. I don't really think you want to go there. This could end up being a really great opportunity for your children. Whatever happened years ago, you need to deal with the now. I can't see that your children are going to be in any danger, and this may be the start of a great relationship.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:38 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Thanks guys Im just worried about him knowing here my kids go to school and where their class rooms are and stuff when we dont even know him. Just being a protective momma I guess. I dont know my dad either so I do know where my husband is coming form completely I just have my mommy brain on first before anything else.
    AmberNicoley

    Comment by AmberNicoley (original poster) at 8:40 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Unless you've found good reason for your DH's dad not to be around your son, I don't see a thing wrong with him going to this school function.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 8:43 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I am right there with you, momma! And I can say that from your HUSBAND'S side of the fence. I have just recently found my biological father, after 27 years. We have been talking and texting for about a year now. This past summer, after about 8 months or so of communicating with him, we actually met for coffee one day, and met for the first time. He has asked since then if he can meet my kids, etc. I have told him not right now. I don't really know him all that well, and even though he is my father and their grandfather, I don't know him and don't know if he is the kind of person that I would want around my kids. I kept my sisters from them for a bit, and so therefore I will keep him at bay until I know that he is an ok person to have around them. So, no, I don't blame you one bit. But it might put you at ease if you met the father, too. Good luck!
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 8:44 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • OP that is totally understandable! Have you met his father yet? Maybe it would be a good idea for you to get to know him first, so you can feel safe with him around your children. I think that is a completely reasonable request for you to ask your DH for the safety of your children. Also, if the kids haven't met him yet, a school function is probably not the place for that either. My suggestion is to have dinner/go out to dinner or something a couple times before hand! Good Luck!!
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 8:55 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

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