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So we just had my fiance's 16 year old daughter move in with us and she has an eighteen yeat old boyfriend who lives in Arizona. She is attending a new school and I dont approve of it. He is supposedly moving to CA but an hr or so away and I dont want him near her. I know that she has had sex but I can not and will not condone it. If he wants to wait two years fine. My fiance and I have a 1 yr old if I ever even think she is having sex with an 18 or older boy I will have is butt tossed in jail. Its against the law. I feel like my fiance doesnt care. What do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Oct. 30, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (18)
  • First of all, he is still legal. Most states the age of consent is 15. I think you should truly rethink trying to ruin some kid's life because of a two year age difference. On top of that, I am gathering they are in a long distance relationship now?
    To me, I would just let it die down on its own.

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 1:37 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I don't think you should buy them a motel room or anything, but at 16 kids will generally do what they want. And if you're being this extreme about it, it could make the boyfriend look even better. I would have a serious talk with her about responsibility, and make sure she's being safe about things. Then tell her that I don't approve of the relationship but I want to make sure she's safe.

    Answer by SamanthaAgain at 1:39 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Also, does your finance not care because he is trusting his daughter? Now is she at all out of control? If not, I don't see why you would want to be so over bearing to a child that isn't even yours.

    I agree with Samatha, you need to teach safety, not just say "no way, no how" Saying that will only fall on deaf ears.

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 1:44 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • First of all she isn't your daughter, she is his, she isn't even your step daughter yet you aren't married. The age difference between a 16 year old girl and an 18 year old boy is not much and not some sicko boy. It is basically very normal. What are you so worked up about he MAY be moving an hour or so away. If they don't even see each other now because he lives in Arizona and may see each other although he lives an hour or so away, then obviously neither of them are in this relationship for the convenient easy sex anyway so give the kid a break. Then also i think you sound awful self righteous when you yourself are living with a man you aren't married to and have already had a baby with while he is trying to raise a teenage girl. So back off and let her father handle it. You are out of line in my opinion and getting so worked up over a lot of maybes that aren't your place.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Well... she isn't YOUR daughter. She's his. It's really his decision. All you can do is express your feelings to him about it. If he doesn't do anything, then there's nothing you can do without the risk of alienating her and your hubby.

    Answer by MarlyeGirl at 5:57 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • In my state if an 18 yr old is having a sexual relationship with any one under the age of 18 its called rape whether its consent or not. And her mother was 17 when she got pregnant with her. ITs not over bearing when history has a tendency to repeat its self. We are teaching her about safety but my statement about no way no how was more towards our 1 yr old when she becomes 16. you guys really dont know shit about ca laws

    Answer by mommymoni24 at 11:38 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • what kind of a person puts there boobs on a place that is moms only

    Answer by mommymoni24 at 11:39 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I had a friend who was 17 and dated a 20 something year old. her parents found out and threw him in jail, and she never spoke to her parents again, and has a lot of built up anger because they did it.

    Back off, or else it is going to cause major problems.

    Answer by charisma10 at 11:55 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • It is overbearing and obnoxious when you say her father doesn't have a problem with her behavior you do. It also is overbearing when you start talking about Jail. If history repeats itself then I guess your daughter is destined to be impregnated out of wedlock to a man who cannot seem to control or raise his other daughter properly and has a child when either he or the mother is 17.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • I have to say two things...

    I think it is funny that you are talking about morals when you got pregnant out of wedlock. Hyprocrite anyone?

    Second- I can post my bra picture if I want! This is a site for women, and we should be proud to who we are!

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 7:07 PM on Oct. 30, 2008

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