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3 Bumps

Does ignoring your kid really work?

I have a 5 year old who drives me crazy. He is a sweet boy, but he is just always doing annoying things, and I feel like I am constantly asking him to stop this, stop that. And he just never listens. I understand he is a kid and is going to do stupid things... but sometimes I just need a break from stupid noises, or him drumming on the table at breakfast, or him telling me he is going to die if I dont get him the Spongebob toothbrush music maker for the bathroom and if I dont I will be the most horrible mother ever.

Sometimes I just say the meanest things back at him, or I yell or I just ignore him completely... but nothing ever seems to work. I feel like ignoring him though might be best because then I wouldn't have to feel so bad for some of the things that come out of my mouth...lol.

What works best for you guys?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • It works for me as long as he's not hurting himself or anyone else i let it go, that way i am not always on him
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:30 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • seting down boundarys and sticking to them.......like we dont bang on the table period, and we never say we're going to die unless its the truth, and if he is making noise that are bothering you tell him he can make the noises as long as he does it in another room....i have a 9yr old ds with autism and i have found that being honest and direct with small children works best and try to do it with out yelling.....good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:31 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I have had great success with ignoring. I find that if I TELL him that I'm ignoring him. By saying, "I am not speaking to you right now because you are being rude.", seems to get his attention and re-directs his behavior toward trying to win back my attention. Another one that works wonders, "I'm not going to speak to you until you apologize for (insert whatever it is)".

    I'm trying to model the behavior I'd like him to develop in regard to handling frustration and disappointment. Taking a moment to remove myself from the frustrating thing (the unruly child), and in a non-threatening and largely passive way that opens the door to resolution, seems to work very well. It does take a lot of self control and patience on my part, though! I'd say it probably took about 2 weeks for this strategy to really work. He still has little tantrums, but now it's like I've got a magic switch to turn them off (if I remember to use it!).
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 9:37 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • My kids are 12, 11, and 9. I'm sorry to tell you it gets worst as they grow. I send them to their room or another part of the house til they are through whining about how they need a new cell phone, shoes, food, etc..... ect....... They sometimes say I'm mean but that's my job. They are always hungry even after they just ate, I find myself buying new cell phones every year, and no matter how many pairs of shoes they have they always need a new pair. I love them very much and try to do all i can. I make sure they have their needs and most of their wants. But they can get on my nerves with whining, arguing, complaining, stupid noises, crazy things they do that don't make sense to me. So to get my break i send them to their room til they are thru with their annoying behavior. Afterwards we will cuddle and Iexplain why i sent them away so they will uderstand that the behavior is not appreciated on my part. Hope this helps!
    suelo74

    Answer by suelo74 at 9:38 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • sometimes it does but u can usually tell when its failing its touch and go moest of the time
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 10:09 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Don't say mean things or ignore, I mean who is acting like a kid here?

    You chose to have sex so now you are a mother. Talk during mealtime. SOme games you can play are; the abc game, categories, a story telling game, or 20 questions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Catch him doing positive things and praise him then!! When he isn't whining tell him "Thank you for using your big boy voice!" Or when he is playing nicely alone tell him so! Curb that tongue of yours or you (and others) will be appalled when he repeats stuff you are saying! Don't ignore him. Engage him. Maybe he is lonely and longing for someone, his mother, to talk to!! HTHs!
    dragonflylovr19

    Answer by dragonflylovr19 at 12:11 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I don't think she means 'ignore' like covering her ears and saying "I can't hear you, I can't hear you" I think she just means to let certain behaviors slide because he's a kid and not letting it get her upset. Sometimes we all just ignore things our kids are doing because we are picking our battles.

    As far as him saying that you are a mean mommy because you won't give in.....TRY not to be mean. I just say to my son (who is 5 and tells me I am mean for silly reasons) "I am so sorry you think I'm mean, I bet there are other kids out there that would think I am a good mommy". He usually pauses, regrets what he says, and then says "I think you are a good mommy too". Then goes back to asking me for whatever I said no about.

    Generally if there is a behavior you want to change, you need to replace it with another behavior. If he is driving you nuts drumming on the kitchen table, distract him with something else.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 12:36 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • By ignoring, I think she's using the tactic that doesn't give any attention (positive or negative) to the undesirable behavior. It's not being childish. And, it's way better than saying something in the heat of the moment that she'll regret.

    I use a variety of methods. Sometimes I keep my cool and sometimes I don't. I wish I were a perfect mom but I'm not.
    DivaDynamite

    Answer by DivaDynamite at 2:34 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • When the moment calls for it, yes ignoring can work wonders. :)
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 11:36 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

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