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4 Bumps

I had to ask my adult child to move out ; (

I have a 23 year od daughter that graduated from college and does not work....I asked her to chip in and she basically told me its my obligation to take care of her untill she finds ''the job'' In the mean time she could get a temp job say at maybe Target, A food store. It seems she feels she is too good for that kind of work. I struggling money wise, working 2 jobs and she sees this. She has become very verbally abusive with me telling I caused my own money problems etc.... I have a x that buys her cars and pays her gas and insurance and credit cards. She does not even care that I still pay her cell phone bill!! I have asked her to move out. I am having a very hard time dealing with this...

Answer Question
 
Joiseygrl61

Asked by Joiseygrl61 at 10:16 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • Don't ask, kick her out and change the locks.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 10:17 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • good for you. 23 is quite old enough to be on her own.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think you are doing the right thing, entitlement is very unattractive, its time she learned the reality of life. I'm sorry you're going through this....but 23 and no job? I started working at 14.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 10:17 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I am sorry. I know that jobs are difficult to find now. I hope she is able to find something and not run into bigger problems. But you are right the attitude is wrong and cannot be tolerated.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:20 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I'm so sorry you are having this issue, but you did the right thing by asking her to either help with the house expenses or move out. I've seen first hand (my sister) how adult children can destroy a parent's financial situation.

    BTW.....you had an obligation to support her through high school and it appears you did that and more.....considering she has a college degree. Your financial obligation as a parent ended long ago.

    Best of luck to you.
    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 10:20 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think that there is nothing wrong with asking her to move out. It must have been very hard, although if she is not understanding that she needs to step up and help out then trying to do things on her own might teacher her better. I think that if she shows she can get her life in order, and then she still needs a little help you might want to help her. I would also talk to her and explain why you are doing this. She might be angry now, alhtough in the long run I believe it will be good for her.

    I would also remind her that you still love her and care for her you just don't like the way she is acting right now.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:20 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • You did the right thing. She graduated already and even though she may not be able to find a job in her field of practice, she should still get some sort of a job. I've been working since I was 14 - never had a break to be honest. I went to college full time AND worked full time. There's really no excuse. And definitely stop paying her cell phone bill! That's not a necessity when you're struggling with your own bills.
    SweetPieMama24

    Answer by SweetPieMama24 at 10:23 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • It's not even about the money anymore, which I will save and then some when she leaves. Its about the utter disrespect and sence being owed some thing for going to college. My x by the way is supporting the older one at 26. See what I am up against?
    Joiseygrl61

    Comment by Joiseygrl61 (original poster) at 10:24 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Tough love isn't a bad thing. Your daughter needs to grow up!



    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 10:27 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Bless your heart, mama, you are doing the right thing....she is not respecting you and needs to grow up....in her case, asking her to leave is the best thing you can do for her as well as yourself....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:29 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

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