Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

How do you deal with becoming a grandmother at 4o years old...ugh???

My son is 20 years old and his girlfriend is pregnant. He will be 21 in January. I didn't want this for him at this young age. He is a mature and caring man, but I'm sure not ready to raise a child. I'm not even sure if this relationship will last. I'm just praying it will all work out.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (29)
  • Well, as long as he is there to help care for the child, the relationship doesn't really matter.

    As for becoming a grandmother @ 40, you're young enough to enjoy your grand child. Focus on all of the cool things that you'll be able to do, that you wouldn't if you were more advanced in years.
    My dd will be 20 when I am 36... the likelihood of becoming a grandmother by the time I am 40 is pretty darn good.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:33 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Well if they step up to the duty of parenthood, you won't have to raise the child. Just offer your love and support and no matter what you think of their relationship, don't take it out on the child.

    BTW, my MIL became a grandmother at 36 (she's 60 now), so you're not alone out there.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 10:36 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think it can be a beautiful thing... My best friend became a grandmother at 45 and she loves it. We have so much fun taking him places, he makes us smile and laugh all the time... Your grand baby will bring you so much joy you'll look back at this and wonder why you ever worried.
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 10:36 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • My friend Tammy became a granny at 35. Don't feel bad!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:37 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • i made my mother a nana at 36
    cielo1

    Answer by cielo1 at 10:37 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • At 18 hes an adult and makes his own decisions, it doesnt matter if it works out or not you should be supportive of his decisions, and it seems like your going about this all wrong, is it that you dont want this for him, or you yourself arent ready to be a grandmother? I'm not trying to be mean, but you dont really have any say so in this or any options at all, you have to stop looking at this as a bad thing and be happy that your going to be a grandmother... my husbands mom really hurts my feelings when it comes to her being a grandparent, its 3 weeks in a row that she and his grandfather havent asked to see him, and we are leaving this weekend and will be gone a month. I believe shes going through her big change, and now all she wants to do is drink. Thats not fair to my son, he loves his grandma. You should be happy, your going to need to help out a lot im sure, but you will be very happy in the end.
    shannonrenee09

    Answer by shannonrenee09 at 10:39 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Well If the deed is done then I would start buying baby gifts :) . They are not teens and its out of our hands Try to have a postive attidude if you can and make the best of it . Once you hold your grandbaby you will be amazed at that connection
    chica1965

    Answer by chica1965 at 10:40 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Well, you may as well celebrate your new grandbaby, because he/she is a reality.....if your son isn't ready, he'll need to get ready, and he needs your support now more than ever....our kids don't always make the decisions we would like.....congratulations, grandma!
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:40 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I understand your concerns about your son and his girlfriends age but Dear being a grandmother is a blessing. i am 49 and the only one of my siblings out of 10 that is not a grandmother. Sadly my daughter lost her first child this year and I was there to see my grand daughter born already gone. Maybe you feel you are not ready but think of this you are still young and vibrant with the patience to assist in guiding that child properly. Besides, you get to spoil them then send them back to their parents. Blessings and congrats Nanna
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 10:40 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • i will tell you one thing being a grandparent at 40 is awesome would you rather beable to play and run with them or just sit there and look at them i love kids and i am a grandma of 4 and soon to be 5 im 41 im not saying its easy for them but as long as they have you as a strong back bone and your there to help out its the most awesome feeling in the world ....be there ....but also dont show that you will care for them all the time they got themselves into this they have to work it out
    desires_place

    Answer by desires_place at 10:42 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.