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3 Bumps

Do you have this issue with your hubby and how do you deal with it?

My husband never tells me I'm pretty, sexy, nothing. I even tried out new lingerie and he didn't say a word. Just turned out the lights so he could get a piece. I am overweight and I don't think I am sexy. However it would be nice to hear sometimes. He will say it back "sometimes" if I tell him he's lookin good or whatever. But I want him to say it on his own or notice when I made an effort. I do think my husband is hot to me, but in general I would rate him as average. Just like I would rate myself as average. It hurts my feelings, I know he loves me but sometimes when he does this it just makes me feel plain out ugly. I know he loves me and he does tell me that all the time. Does anyone have a husband like this and how do you deal with it?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • in the same boat also. it'd be nice and great to hear every once in a while. not like we're asking for it everyday. it would make us feel good about ourselves. i guess some men just dont like to express their selves to us. at least we know they love us

    Answer by jbond83 at 11:57 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think when a man loves you, he just sees you. My husband told me I was beautiful when we first met. He says it once in awhile when I get fixed up to go somewhere super special. But he has to remember to say it. It doesn't come naturally. He told me that this upset his first wife and he explained to me that he felt she was pretty in his head - but he would forget to say the words. I think for men, there is a disconnect between what they feel and the words they say. I've been married 1 year now and my husband rarely says that I'm attractive. But I know that he adores me inside and out. And it isn't about what I am wearing or my makeup or hair. He doesn't see those things anymore. He just sees me. I know from his past marriage, that he has a hard time saying it. So I don't take it personally. He does try. It's just hard for some men.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:59 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Have you told him how you feel? Sometimes men need to be told, they don't think or reason the way we do and he may not understand how important it is to you. Just tell him what you need and how you feel about it.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 11:56 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • yes , same for me ,and i know how he would ''act'' and be around the strippers at the bar or any female that was stripper material , even when i was really thin he didnt compliment me , but he did others . alot of the time i really hate most men

    Answer by letstalk747 at 1:33 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • You get used to it after awhile. My life got a lot easier when I gave up on stuff like lingerie and being told I was sexy. I'm not sexy, I'm what you call "criminally unattractive" so even if he DID tell me I was sexy, I wouldn't believe it. Eventually I started thinking about sex the way most men do, as a sport: play hard for an hour, get all sweaty and try not to get hit in the eye. It's really very freeing to not have to care about that crap anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Oct. 26, 2010