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Religion is coming between my hubby and me

While we were dating, from day one he knew I was an Atheist and I was strong on my beliefs. I knew he believed but he was set on a religion and he didn't have very strong beliefs. We were fine with this we just didn't talk to each other about our beliefs, we never pushed one another. We respected each other.
Recently my husband has been trying to get in touch with god and is becoming very religious, I really wouldn't have a problem with it but he's now disrespecting my beliefs and pushing things on me. We've been together 4 years and it's just now he doesn't like what I believe in.
He wants me to start reading the bible to help with our marriage problems, go see a Chaplin for counseling and even renew our vows in a church, in front of god. He says I need to find my way back. This is upsetting me and he seems to not care he. He says I should be able to do this for him if I love him but I told him if he loved me CONTINUE

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 12:48 PM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • Tell him you support the idea of counseling but not a religious one.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 12:58 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • HMMM well I say to you that everyone changes that is what is so tricky about marriage bc we grow and change at different rates than our partner...I will say from my point of view as someone who is like your husband and has changed my religious views during our marriage I think that you could say, I respect you and your ideas. It is not for me, and you know that I am my own person and just bc you believe something doesn't mean I have to. I love you and I will love you always and I hope that you love me the same. It has to be a give and take..We can live our lives together even if we have different religious beliefs..
    Kelly2573

    Answer by Kelly2573 at 1:00 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Well, it definitely sounds like the two of you need some counseling. Explain to him that you're willing to go to counseling but not to a religious counselor. Hopefully, the counselor will be able to help him see that he can't "change" you, that you have to be willing to change and that he should love you for who you are, since you're the person he fell in love with in the first place. From a religious point of view, he shouldn't be trying to drag you, kicking and screaming, to God but he should be praying for you, if he feels so strongly about it.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 2:18 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I'm getting really sick and tired of women on here thinking you should be the one to change. He married YOU for who you are. He shouldn't expect you to change. If he loves you he shouldn't expect you to do something you feel uncomfortable with. It's good that you support him and his beliefs but he needs to learn to respect yours.
    MamaDawn0223

    Answer by MamaDawn0223 at 12:59 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Kelly2573 is right...say it like that. I do not think you should change your beliefs just because you are married to someone with different ones...hobbitswife is so totally wrong...
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:15 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Religion can be a big issue especially when there are children involved, my parent's divorced in part because they couldn't reconcile their religious differences, she's Buddhist, and he's Christian...That being said my dad is now married to a wonderful woman who is agnostic and doesn't go to church with him, but allows him to raise their two daughters in that faith, so it can be done. I would tell him that you love him and want to keep your marriage, but you can't do it if he doesn't respect you. why not try to go to both councelors? that way everyone get's their "way"
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 4:35 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • (SOrry computer is being dumb) But I know that he didn't believe in anything and this is a big step for him but it is probably because he had just lost his dad and believing that his dad is still around has given him more to believe. Ofcourse you don't have to believe he just wants you to read it, just tell him your not interested in changing what you believe becasue he has had a change in heart in what he believes. I know that its hard when both couples don't see eye to eye on things, letting him know how you feel and letting him know that your not interested and that he jsut needs to drop it,. The more you push the more people pull away HIM of all people should understand this..
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 6:36 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • He would leave me be with my beliefs like I leave him be. He's upset I won't change my ways just for him. I don't know how to get him to shut up and stop pushing me. I've asked him several times. It upsetting that its now 4 years later he wants to be closer to god and he expects me to follow. I honestly dont are if he wants to be closer I just dont want to be pushed into believing. How would you approach this if it was your hubby?

    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 12:50 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • So hobbitswife I should be unhappy so her can be happy? I don't hate it I just refuse to be pushed into somethign I don't believe. It's all about respect. I respect his beliefs and don't try to squash them and he should respect mine.

    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 1:01 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • *he
    mommy_of_two388

    Comment by mommy_of_two388 (original poster) at 1:02 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

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