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3 Bumps

How do you gauge effort?

How do you gauge effort in a relationship? Like, do you think there's a way you can tell if one partner is putting more in to the relationship than the other? What do you think?

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countrygirl1987

Asked by countrygirl1987 at 6:16 PM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (364 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Ah, very good question. AND, most times, both people think they are the ones that put in more effort! I have no idea how to measure it. I do know it's never 50/50. Someone always puts in more. Thing is, that person shouldn't be the only one to put in more, they are supposed to take turns!
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 6:22 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • i think as i got older i could tell better from expierence , i go by body language and actions speak louder than words.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 6:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • as long as everything running smoothly everyones putting effort in in my opinion
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 6:33 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Effort is when we do stuff we really don't feel like doing because it would make the other person happy or your connection stronger. it is hard to gauge. a passive person may seem like they are not putting effort, but because they don't disagree with anything could be their contribution. ???? Great question. wish i had a great answer.
    nonni2

    Answer by nonni2 at 7:15 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I'd love to know. My husband says I do nothing. He devalues everything I do. I honestly try to listen to his words and follow what he says he wants. I clean. I cook, I smile, I don't say a thing when he goes out, i say I'm sorry, I run errands...but it doesn't seem to matter. At this point I have lost all ability to gauge this. Either I am completely selfish as he tells me or he is blind and can't see me. I just don't know anymore. How I would LOVE to hear a "Thanks, babe." Just once instead of "why didn't you...(fill in the blank)"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • That's a question you cannot fairly answer. Over years, the amount of effort one puts into their marriage varies enough that in the end it has to equal out. When he is sick I take care of him and when I am sick, he is always there to care for me.
    depressedmom65

    Answer by depressedmom65 at 9:38 AM on Oct. 28, 2010

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