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I don't love him; how do I get out?

A couple years ago a close guy friend of mine admitted that he was in love with me and wanted a relationship. I couldn't reciprocate, and lost one of the best friends I'd ever had. I miss him dearly. Well, an almost identical scenario happened again. Knowing what happened last time, and in fear of losing another friend, I said yes. We have since moved in together and I'm absolutely miserable. I want to tell him that we're going to have to do a "roommate" situation until the lease is up in Sept, but don't know how to do it. I do love him, just not IN love. I also love his family... my family doesn't live around here, so they fill in. I still want him and his whole family in my life, but I just can't do it this way. He's just too clingy and Im EXTREMELY independant and I'm miserable. How can I soften the blow? What can I do? I'm so ashamed. :(He's wonderful to me, and my children. It truly is me and not him. :/

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You need to be honest with him and as soon as possible. It will be up to him what to do with it. He will be hurt, no way to stop that, but he may be able to come around in time. As for his family...well......no telling how they are gonna feel about him getting hurt. The longer you wait the worse it will be. I wish you the best.
    HelenCarlene

    Answer by HelenCarlene at 9:29 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Be honest. It will not be easy, trust me. But atleast he will know the truth and it's good that you are honest with him before you do anything you'll regret. If you need someone to talk to I'm available. Best of luck!
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 9:34 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • You seriously think you can live in a roomate situation for almost a year?! Were you in love before you moved n with him? It's not fair to string him along, cruel to be kind if ya know what I mean. I would just leave BUT
    NEXTIME, really make sure you know someone before you move you and your children in. Find out if he's clingy ahead of time. It's hard on the kids. I'm sure you meant well, so don't think I'm bashing you!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:34 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I think you need to be honest with him and tell him exactly what you told us. Good luck to you!
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 10:27 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • girl friend GooooooooodLuck!I don't know how long you've been together but it's gonna make things miserable for everyone i am woried because you've got kids,but you better tell him soon,before things get out of hand ,ask it from me i am there right now!.
    Jacky434

    Answer by Jacky434 at 6:39 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

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