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5 Bumps

Are you living or just existing?

I was watching 'A Family That Preys" byTyler Perry and one of the questions that was asked was, "are you living or just existing?"

The lady answered the question by saying, "Well I have kids and they need me!"

The lady thought about it some more and realized that her children were human beings that had more influences in their lives than just her. She also realized that she had put so many people before her.

Well I have recently noticed that I am doing the same thing. I make sure that my husband and children's clothes are cleaned and iron every morning. I cook and do a little cleaning.

My husband is the Minister of Music at our church. I have taken on the Dance Ministry, Children's Church and at one time also the youth Bible study and Director of the Youth choir. My mother thinks that I have lost myself. I see it as joining him in the ministry.

Am I just existing? Am I just an extension of my husband?


Asked by 35yoamom at 11:30 PM on Oct. 26, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (36)
  • I am living.. In Christ I live and He Lives in me... He created us to be living breathing worshipers of His Kingdom... not just to exist but to experience Him and His amazing Love for us!
    What you need to decide for yourself is are you doing those ministries because you are called to do them or are you doing it out of duty and because you feel no one else can do them? One can burn you out and the other will not.. guess which is which and they will help you decide whether or not you are living or existing.
    Christ has called us to be worshipers of His kingdom, He has called us to not merely exist and do the stuff but also experience a relationship with Him when you have this relationship everything else comes easy but when you strive to keep up with things of the church and do not spend precious time with Him.... it will because also a place of existence instead of living for the Kingdom.

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 12:54 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • How do you feel? Do you feel happy? As long as you are not just "going through the motions" and you feel moved when you get involved then in my opinion, you are living.

    Answer by pnwmom at 11:53 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Sounds like you're just an extension of your husband. To me those things are great if YOU are passionate about them and wanted to become apart of them for you. However, if you're not living inside of those things, wanting to be fully apart of those things, then you're not doing it for you. Even if it's not for him, it's apart of his life that you're extending. That's the way I see it.

    I am just existing. I love my life as a mother and a wife and I do a good job of maintaining that life. However, I do absolutely nothing for me except photography, and I only photograph my kiddos anymore. (How could I not? They're so darn cute!) I have no passion anymore, no zest for life, no determination, no motivation, so I'm not actually living towards anything. I live for my family to survive and be happy, but I don't live for me to survive and be happy. It's something I've been working on to change, because I deserve to LIVE too.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:53 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • me, im living. i lost myself the first year as a mom b/c i wasnt prepared and wasnt ready to devote myself to another person. then i figured out what i wanted to be after my DD is old enough to not need me so much & now im working for what i want (getting my masters in US history so i can teach & eventually become a professor). its something small that i can do to make me feel like me, not just mom (though being mom is a great and important part of me).

    i think it sounds like you are doing more than him, but thats how it always is for a wife :D. how do you feel? do you want to do these things or do you feel like you have to do them? if you have to do them, then you are just existing...

    Answer by okmanders at 12:28 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • do i live or exist? given different circumstances, i do both. i'd love to say i'm living life to the fullest 100% of the time..but who does really? sometimes you do just go through the motions..some things are mundane. what matters is, is your heart in your activity? do you do it with 'all joy'? do you do it out of love for each other, fellow man, God? that is the difference.
    whatever you do, do it all for the glory of it washing the dishing AGAIN, raking the yard, AGAIN, helping out in the youth ministry at church, singing in the choir..or sitting back, and letting someone else glorify God and others with their service. 'to everything there is a season'..and our seasons change. this may be my season to sit back, and enjoy life..letting my dh do all the providing (i no longer work outside the home)..its tough, but i'm learning to find joy in the small, boring things. this is his season.
    think about it.

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:13 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • It's whatever you choose to see it as. Your life, no one elses. Right now, I'm doing a little bit of both!

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:31 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • I am living existing sucks

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:45 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • No you are blessing you children and husband with love. When you are loving it is living, there is nothing better.

    Answer by Melbornj at 11:53 PM on Oct. 26, 2010

  • Thank you for the clarification.


    Answer by beeky at 8:59 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • about the play on words with the title:
    i thought it was more relating to the family involved in the movie, not the rich family. the main family, of whom the movie is about, does what all families do (maybe like your mother is doing?)-they watch each other, they work on each other, sometimes its good-sometimes its not so good..but its all for the family survival. the 'preying' is done out of is 'praying', in this sense.
    now, about you..i've told my sis the same thing your mom has told you. she 'seems' like she loses herself coming and going with church-stuff, always being involved/heading up/from one project to another...and has a family, and works fulltime. she never gets a breath! and it takes someone on the outside to see all this. i think your mom just wants you to step back and really focus on priority. ministry is important, but your family is too. maybe you are showing signs of stress, they you won't see?

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:08 AM on Oct. 27, 2010