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Need advice about disagreement between me and my second graders BF mom. It's carrying over into the classroom and I don't know what to do.

My 7 year old son punched his best friend of 3 years, in the playground because his best friend was giving him the silent treatment. They were sent to the principals office and the other boys mother just happened to be around. (I swear she lives at the school!) After school, the two boys played in the playground, as they always do, and the boys mother and I chatted - as we always do. It was friendly and nice. I had no idea of the altercation and she did NOT tell me! The following morning when I dropped my son off at school, I was greeted by her and the teacher, and told my son was being separated from her son because her son was bullied by my son, and repeatedly bullied! (I saw no such thing) I was also told her son was afraid of my son. My son is brutally honest and admits to the one punch - but that is all. Why was this kept from me and blown out of proportion? What do I do, I feel like I was blindsided!

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hopeful32362

Asked by hopeful32362 at 12:07 AM on Oct. 27, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • All I can suggest is talk to the parent rationally, and then talk to the principal. The teacher is likely to have little control over this issue, so unless you have a good bond with her, I can only suggest to just skip her for now.
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 12:09 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I'm so sick of normal childhood spats being turned into bullying. I'll bet the kids have already sorted it out and are happy, and it's just the adults just being asses.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:10 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Schools are finally getting out of their dark hle nd doing something about bullying. They know now if they don't they can be sued-money talks. Wether you knew about the situation or not, the school has to take action. Even if the mother said nothing, she may have been advised to let the school address the situation. And even if your son played with the other boy after it happened, doesn't mean that it goes unpunished or that the other boy feels ok about what happened. Bullying is a serious issue. The school should have contacted you the day it happened, yes. Seperating the two of them is a good idea. That's the very least the school should be doing.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 12:15 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Didn't the teacher or somebody at school see what happened? That would be the first thing I would want to know. If not, why not? You need the full story before anything is done. I always thought that if something like that happened at school that the parents should be notified before something was done about it. It sounds like they ( the teacher and the other parent) handled the situation without you present. That's not right. I'd be speaking up if I was you about the way that this was handled. I really don't think they did this the right way, if they did, you would have been there and someone should have called you right after it happened. I'd go to the school board if I had to.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:19 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I did talk to the mom. She said she didn't think it was her place to tell me that her son was accusing my son of bullying. She thought it was the teachers issue since it happened at school. I said the teacher DID take care of it and my son was sent to the principals office. However, that wasn't enough for her, so she went to the teacher and accused my son of repeatedly bullying and scaring her son. I asked her why she let them play and sat and talked with me as they played, as if nothing had happened. Once again she said it wasn't her place to tell me. SO ODD ! ! ! So, I'm very angry, and told her I couldn't believe she would put out such a story while allowing them to play with her permission. I said it was good the boys were separated, then her son couldn't accuse my son of anything. Problem is I still have to deal with this woman at the classroom party. What do I do?
    hopeful32362

    Comment by hopeful32362 (original poster) at 12:27 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Thank you amessageofhope! You are so right! I will go to the principal tomorrow and ask what exactly happened that day in the office and at the playground. I DO deserve to know! And this shouldn't be handled by just the teacher and the other parent without my knowledge! So right! Thanks!
    hopeful32362

    Comment by hopeful32362 (original poster) at 12:30 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • That is strange but I would just come right out and ask the other Mom what was going on. That sucks and I wish you luck.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 1:37 AM on Oct. 31, 2010

  • i agree,, i would come out and ask the teacher/principal what the deal is... and find out what needs to be done. if your son is not bullying... then fine and i would suggest moving on it's another mom over reacting... if your son is, then deal with it then.
    asil

    Answer by asil at 11:13 PM on Oct. 31, 2010

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