Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

It's making me not want him :(

My son is almost 4 & out of control. He is SOOOOO MEAN! He hits, bites, screams, curses...BEATS UP HIS 1 YR OLD BROTHER!! He is 4' & 49lbs the baby is less than hlaf his size I am due with #3 in 3wks!! I'm so scared for my smaller babies! I love my kids sooo much but my ODS violent behavior makes me not want him around...what can I do? I've taken him to doctors and they say he may be adhd and in the beginning stages of bi polar but how do I help him? how do I protect my smaller babies from my older one? what the hell am I suppose to do when no form of punishment helps? I don't want to do this to him I don't want to not want him here...I have NO friends or family to help my MIL insist it my & DH fault we did somehting wrong but I don't know what?! Please help maybe there is something we have't thought of please help me help my babies!?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • Get him a time out chair and make him sit there for 4 mins everytime he hits his brother. DONT let him get up and if he does start the time over.

    Answer by Misteh at 10:39 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I have a friend with a bi-polar son. She went through this exact thing when he was that age. Her solution, because he was undiagnosed at the time, was to give her younger daughter to a friend to raise for awhile. I thought it was a crazy decision but I guess she did what she felt she had to do to keep the daughter safe. She said if she had known what was wrong with him though she could have gotten him help. Isn't there something you can do to help control your son? He may very well be a real danger to the little ones.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:42 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • You might need to see a behavioral therapist if it keeps going. It looks like he's acting out because he thinks the other kid is replacing him.

    Answer by ballewal at 10:43 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • You need to be proactive about finding out if he does have adhd and is bi-polar. If it turns out that he does have one or both, he needs to be treated!

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 10:47 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would ask your doctor for a referral for your son. IF they think he has ADHD or is bi-polar then he needs to be evaluated, diagnosed (if he has it) and then see what they can do to help him from there. Maybe they would be able to get his behaviors under control with medication, or with therapy. I would suggest you also think about taking your child to a children's mental health therapist. They can work with your child on his behaviors, and help him. While my child is not ADHD or bi-polar he is on the Autism Spectrum (and has anger issues as well) and this year we did make the decision to give him meds, and he is seeing an awesome therapist! I have noticed a change (for the better) in him since the meds and the therapy.  Good luck I hope everything works out!


    Answer by MizLee at 10:50 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would definitely seek professional help as the previous posts mentioned, you might also find a support group that will help you learn to deal with him and give you the additional support you need. Best of luck with it!

    Answer by MaMiLee at 11:14 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • see if you can get a referal to a neurologist. they can test for all kinds of things, and maybe there is a therapist in your area that does "play" therapy, it really helped my friends son who was diagnosed with bipolar before he was 6

    Answer by lovemylilman06 at 12:22 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would also seek professional help

    Answer by momoflilangel at 5:15 PM on Nov. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.