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3 Bumps

what would you do??

Me and my DH have been together for 14 years.. it was a rocky start and I was only 18 and young and DUMB when we met.. I made many mistakes and cheated... its been 5 years since I have been unfaithful and we both have grown up a lot and changed a lot.. we also now have a 3 year old together.. I feel SO much guilt for what I've done but I can't tell him or it will be over.. I feel I deserve the guilt to carry for what I've done but I am scared daily that he will find out somehow and I will lose my life and family...... anyone been thtrough this?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • you just need to let it go. you're a changed woman (i'm guessing), and you cherish your relationship. you want to keep it, right? (i'm guessing) this is something he does not need to know. it will only hurt him, and bring unnecessary heartache into everyone's world.
    if anything ever came up, at t his point, deal with it as honestly as you can, and be sure he knows you are deeply sorry for your actions and want nothing more than to grow old with him. what he does is on his shoulders. hopefully, he will be man enough to hold onto what you have at this point. (again, i'm guessing things are good with you two.)
    just leave it alone, and cross that bridge when you come to it. if you ever do.

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:49 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would bear this secret to my grave in order to keep the marriage, but the guilt is a price you must pay.

    Answer by older at 10:47 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • You can't tell him. You'd destroy him simply so you can "feel better". Just resolve that things like that will never happen again and move on. Focus on being a great wife and try to forget the past.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:18 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I think I will keep the secret even if the guilt hurt

    Answer by Alisim at 11:07 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • DO NOT TELL HIM!  This is your burden to bear alone and it isn't fair to put your entire family through that kind of pain.  Chalk it up to live and learn and let it go, then concentrate on your family.


    Answer by beeky at 11:53 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • TELL HIM. He probably already knows (or has the feeling that you were unfaithful).

    Answer by ballewal at 10:47 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Ask and pray for Gods forgiveness for going astray. He will forgive u. U should then feel less guilt. But breaking your vows to keep only unto him. That will take alot of work. What was going on in your marriage that u cheated?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would not tell him. If you have opted to remain married and place an end to your affair than just keep it to yourself. What he does not know will not kill him.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 11:10 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I agree with the majority - take it to the grave. Your punishment is your guilt and deal with it the best way you can.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:21 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • OP: We were in a self destructive pattern and just I think weren't grown up enough to handle a relationship as a couple.. Mostly ME. I was and have been on and off medications for depression and anixety and seem to seek attention in other places.. I take the majority of the blame and was the most damaging to US....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Oct. 27, 2010