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How can we get our strong willed and sometimes defiant four year old son to do what we ask without whining or throwing a tantrum?

Our son is great most of the time, but there are days when he is really moody and defiant...he is strong willed and likes to do things on his own even though due to his age require supervision at times or he doesn't want to do them. He will act up more when we have guests over, like my in-laws visiting. He will want to play rough and even spit at his grandpa. Any suggestions other than spanking and rewards or taking things away are appreciated. We have done these things and nothing seems to work to prevent his behavior from happening again. As a former teacher, I never thought I'd end up with a child this way...we are worried when he starts pre-school...

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 AM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (2)
  • i dont have a anwser, but if you find one that works will ya let me know? i have a 3 year old daughter and if it's not her way it's no way. If you say it sure is sunny she will look out and no it's not it's raining, or my 7 years old will say can we go outside to play when we get homw and the little one will tell her no, and because she said no. and when i let her go on out she gets mad, then when i ask her when did you become boss? she says I'm not you are and then goes and plays she loves to argue and have things her way.

    Answer by mackison74 at 4:58 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I have been trying a different route with my daughter lately. When she starts whining or stomping her feet because she gets upset I try to talk to her very calm and tell her that it is okay that she gets frustrated or mad but she has a voice and she needs to use it. For example she was getting mad at me early about going to the bathroom and she started whining and I said to her there is no reason to whine you are not a baby, use your voice. Tell me why you don't want to go. Talk to me, don't whine or I can't hear you. It seems to work lately. I have also tried spanking, time outs, taking stuff away..... that is my suggestion.

    Answer by smcelroy at 11:42 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

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