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This is so crazy,i'm trying to figure out what is the problem now

I have an 18 yr. old and about a couple of weeks ago we had disagreement about simple basically it boiled down to my house my rules or else leave so they jumped up an gathered the things they purchased and left then and called on monday asking to come home at about 4:30 pm and didnt pop up til yesterday so something else happen then they blew up and said people are saying i dont care about them because i was looking for them and i dont care bout them remember they left on their own now the teen wanted to free of me now that i let go now i'm the bad guy i dont get it

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If my 18 yr old left and expected to be able to return after disrespecting me or my family then they would not be welcome back as soon as a few days...They need to realize you are not a hotel! Do not let them back in until they are ready to follow your rules in your home and if OTHER people think you are a bad mom...then tell them to keep them at their home for more than a day or 2 and then tell you that trash!

    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:14 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Sounds to me like guilt, they are trying to make you feel guilty as all of our kids do. If they can't follow simple rules they have to go, it does not mean you don't love them. My teen uses the guilt thing all the time.
    My kids do it and they are all 14 and younger. IF you didn't care you would let her do as she pleased, and then she would not know how to survive if you were not there.

    Remember not one person would put up with her stuff, and neigther should you, and everybody else needs to mind their business. opps, including me this is just my opinion. Nothing in life is free and you must work hard to get what you want. You need to teach her that. Good luck, I can't imagine what your going through... Kelly
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:16 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • It is your house and your rule, they have to grow up sometime.
    jshimmy

    Answer by jshimmy at 11:56 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • and since i'm not a push over like some of their friends parents , i'm the bad mother
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:02 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • ITS HARD TO SAY GO BUT I THINK IT WAS WISE!! THEY GOT A TASTE OF THE REAL WORLD & IF THEY ARE BACK TELL THEM RULES ARE IMPORTANT AND THEY SHOULD HAVE SOME VERY STRONG VALUES OF THEIR OWN TO START MAKING A LIFE OF THEIR OWN. DONT WORRY ABOUT WHAT ANYONE SAYS, TOUGH LOVE NOW MAY HELP OPEN THE LIGHT TO A SOUND FUTURE.
    bell3

    Answer by bell3 at 11:09 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • there was another blow up last night , same thing thet left again wanted me to look for some papers they had been gone for about 2 weeks now after last night jumped up and said they want me to find their papers i said it's getting late come todat they said no i'm going to call police i asked them to just go eventually no police was called and they left again mind you have another teen here and a small child things was peaceful i didnt bother them when they wee at their friends house now bring up they were raped i never knew this suppose to be by my boyfriend they'll never tell who i'm just now finding out but they wont tell who says i done nothing about it NEWSFLASH you never told me and i never suspected anything like that i dont have time to chase my child seems thats what they want but i have chased in the past and was told by my teen that i was bothering them, i couldi dont chase and im still the bad guy what now
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • you are so right
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • i'm 24, so clearly do not have any teenagers but my parents threatened for me to leave before (back when i lived with them in high school). the SOLE reason i never did was b/c i knew there's no way they'd let me back. if you're letting your kid back, they're going to take advantage of you and do it over again. when i was 18, my dad put me on a plane across the country to get away f/ a guy he didn't want me to date. sure, i hated him and everyone thought he was crazy- but it's the best thing he could have done for me and did it out of love, and we've made up since then. so even if you're the bad guy now, who cares! it's your house and like it's been said, your house your rules. if your kid can't respect that, they shouldn't be there. i'd let them tough it out for a good while until they're grateful. i was always told at 18 i had to be out of the house anyway, with a job or education and the same will go for my daughter.
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 3:59 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

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