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How do you feel comfortable with your SO? adult content

I admit it, I don't look as good as I did 10 years ago :) I'm not really overweight, but I'm not thin. I have cellulite on my backside and thighs, I have a post-baby wrinkly belly, and let's just say my boobs are scary. I have gone up and down in weight so much during and after pregnancies, and gone up and down in breast size from the weight and nursing that they are just deflated and gross.

My SO is not my children's father, so he didn't help create this body ; ) He loves me for me, and he is attracted to me. Here's my problem, I hate being naked in front of him. I hate him seeing me without make-up, I don't want him to touch me because I feel disgusting. I do let him touch me, we have a great sex life, but it would be SO MUCH better if I felt better about myself. How do I do this? How do I get past all this? He is attracted to me, how do I let go and accept that?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • What you are stating is what most women feel about their bodies - even younger women who have nice figures. We compare ourselves to supermodels and movie stars. We see those women so much that we begin to think that anything less than that is ugly. I've never had a good feeling about my body - even when I was 18. And I was 105 lbs. and I'm 116 lbs. now. I don't let my husband see me nude either and don't make love with the light on. I know that it is my problem - but it's been with me for years. It's like the other women say here - you have to learn to love yourself and see yourself as perfect the way you are. It's all in your attitude and self-perception. If you believe you are beautiful - you are. (I'm working on it!)

    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 2:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • For me..

    They key to being comfortable with my husband of 25 years. Is.......

    Being comfortable with myself.

    That's it. In order to be comfortable around another person, in order to be accepting of another person's acceptance of you. YOU must be accepting of yourself and comfortable with yourself 1st.

    In order to be comfortable with yourself, you first must accept and love yourself. Period. The good, the bad, the ugly, the things you can change and the things you can't. Loving and accepting yourself is the key. No matter how much someone else compliments you, no matter how great they tell you that you look, no matter how much another person tells you they find you sexy and desire you......If you do not feel and believe those things about yourself 1st, you will never believe them and their words will just be empty.

    Self love and acceptance... It's the only way to gain comfort within ones own skin. :-)
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:18 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I think that if you do something that makes you feel good about yourself each day, that it will become easier to respect your body for what it is. (I'm sure you are great btw) I like to do yoga because it makes you feel centered and calm also afterwords you can feel your body in a better way.

    Good Luck hon!
    Andriya

    Answer by Andriya at 1:17 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I went through that as well, and I just finally just got to the point that I started pointing out all the good things about myself, and like my husband always said to me if I didnt want to be with you I wouldnt be, and it started sinking in more and more,and also I started doing things for myself to make myself feel better and like what I saw in the mirror, i hope everything works out for you.
    Army108th

    Answer by Army108th at 1:17 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I feel your pain. I only went up a size or two, depending on what brand of clothes and what article it is I'm buying, but I'm not pleased with my body when I'm naked. Gotta love the saggy boobs and mom belly. I could look worse but I could look better and that will only happen with surgery which I will not do. All I can say is trust him. If you have a great sex life, he is obviously into you and is not lying when he says you are attractive. Women tend to think they look a lot worse than they really do. Men see us differently from how we see ourselves. Again, trust your SO. He knows what he wants and that is apparently you.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:20 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • You need to feel comfortable in your own skin and trust that husband loves you, because beauty is fleeting.  Sooner or later the ravages of time catch up to every single one of us, but it is the love and the bond between you that keeps you beautiful.   I plan on living out the rest of my natural life with my husband.  I'm pretty sure that I'm going to look a lot different when I'm in my 70's and 80's but I'm also sure that my husband will still see his 24 year old bride.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 2:02 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Know that you'll never be happy in a fit body if you're not happy with yourself now. You have to accept yourself for what you are, just as your DH has. Look yourself in the mirror and go "Yea, that's pretty gross looking, but it helped create my beautiful children." My sister calls her stretch marks her "Battle Scars". They're not pretty, they're not sexy, they're not attractive .. But they are what is left over from having beautiful children. That's all. It's just the leftovers and what do you do with leftovers? You either reheat them or you throw them out. And even if it takes another two years to throw out your leftovers, you have to know that you're not ugly, fat, or gross right now. You're beautiful, you're sexy, and you're wonderful even if you're masked by a few battle scars. It's hard to accept the right here and now. But if we don't, then we can never progress successfully to the future. NOTHING is permenant.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:02 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Just know that it can be changed and it's okay if it's not right now that it is changed. You're loved by your husband, by your kids, now be loved by yourself as well. Love yourself for who you are and what you can be.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 2:03 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I just read something last night that I think you should read...singledadlaughing.com read the post about women from this week. It will make you really think. And see how yummy you are
    elyssek832

    Answer by elyssek832 at 8:30 PM on Oct. 27, 2010