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4 Bumps

Should I be worried that he is too controlling or am I overreacting?

DF has been flipping out about the strangest stuff the last couple of months, such as me selling my TV without asking him first, or me not answering his calls or texts right away, or me not telling him where I am or who I am with at all times... Last thursday he text me and I said I would call him back in a bit. WHen I called he was pissed bc I didn't say where I was or what I was doing so that he knew why I wasn't answering.... Yesterday it was becuase I had plans with the girls without asking him how he felt about it first. ... I feel like every other day I have supposedly done something that has "disrespected him" and that the only way to not piss him off is to ask permission for EVERYTHING.... I could just be reading too much into it so I can take opposing opinions if u have one... I just want to know how to be better for our soon to be marriage.

 
BriHan06

Asked by BriHan06 at 1:38 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,166 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (32)
  • Try and find out what exactly is bothering him. If he hasn't always acted that way there is hope. Might need to try counseling.
    christy_lvr

    Answer by christy_lvr at 1:40 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Those are signs of an abuser.
    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 1:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • WOW, youre not even married yet? This needs to stop. It will only get worst. You need to talk to him about it. He is not you "BOSS". Youre a grown woman, out of respect you can tell him about the girls and I are going out Saturday NOT can I go out with the girl Saturday? Be careful, this is not a life you want to live. He will get worse the more you let it happen.
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 1:41 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Thank goodness he is showing you his true colors before you marry him! Do you think it'll get better after you say "I do"? It'll get worse.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 1:42 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I highly suggest you put those marriage plans on hold. Things will not get better afterwards. Is he in college, finished college, in a professional career? If not, he may be feeling inferior. His actions will evenutally cause you to drop your friends and possibly family out of embarrassment, to hide his actions. Therefore, he can have you all to himself and be in full control. I too, saw red flags before I married my ex. But I was too in love, made excuses and just knew all would be fine down the road. There was just one episode of physical abuse, but the mental and emotional abuse about put me in a grave. Please, please, do not ignore the red flags you're seeing now. Good luck! :-)
    Laurie3200

    Answer by Laurie3200 at 3:06 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • No, I agree that he's controlling. And that's not good.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 1:39 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • Tell him to back off- you are your own person, you can be a big girl and do things at your own leisure.
    LishaBee

    Answer by LishaBee at 1:41 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • That is a bit too controling for me. I would be careful because it may only get worse. Good Luck!
    jshimmy

    Answer by jshimmy at 1:41 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I was just talking to someone about this yesterday. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, there probably is. Please do not blame yourself and say you're over reacting.

    http://www.ctcadv.org/WhatisDomesticViolence/WarningSigns/tabid/167/Default.aspx

    Please read this just in case, because you never know and controlling jealous behavior is often the first sign.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 1:41 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • It is a good thing you are not married yet. It is time to get unengaged. His actions have bad news written all over them.
    Keksie

    Answer by Keksie at 1:49 PM on Oct. 27, 2010