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2 Bumps

toddler and a funeral

my great grandma passed away today the funeral is friday, all my family will be at this funeral is it ok to bring my 22 month old with(it is out of town funeral im driving to as well) or should i try to see if my friend from my hometown can watch her during(if she can) and if she can't is it horrid to have to bring her?

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mnmommy83

Asked by mnmommy83 at 3:53 PM on Oct. 27, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 8 (248 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I know my child of the same age wouldn't be able to sit still through the service. I generally think it's best for young kids to not attend funerals.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 3:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • if you can find somene to watch her if not plan on siting in the back by a door and spending most of the time outside cuz if she gets loud your gunna have to take her outside
    mama2my2boys

    Answer by mama2my2boys at 3:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would say it depends on how uptight your family is. My 6 month old attended a funeral with us about a year ago, and as long as your family is OK with you walking out to take care of your daughter and understand that there might be an interruption, than I would say go ahead. Maybe asking some of your other family members what they think would help as well.
    gumby11883

    Answer by gumby11883 at 3:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • No I have actually been to geezz... 6 funerals in less then a year.. and at all of them there was a toddler.. i think that maybe you should try and find a sitter just because i dont think the baby will understand the whole funeral so for your sake to be able not to worry about her would be nice.. but taking her to a great grandmother funeral not a big deal, i just really thinks it depends on the person who passed and if it was sudden or expected... different funerals have different vibes im sorry about your loss
    SammiGirl07

    Answer by SammiGirl07 at 4:01 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • It's really up to you. If you do not feel it is important for your child to be there at the funeral, then finding a sitter is probably the most polite thing to do. Chances are your tot will act up in the middle of the ceremony, and you will feel awkward. I brought my 2 year old son to my great uncle's funeral. The service was held in a room that had a play corner, so he was all excited and wanted to be where the toys were. Big mistake. He banged and clashed through the whole thing, no matter how I tried to quiet him. Fortunately, it was a small service with mostly family, and everyone accepted him as a toddler, and ignored it. Other families might not be so accepting. Good luck to you, whatever you decide. You great grandma would probably enjoy watching down on your LO, during a funeral, or after. I doubt she'd mind. :D
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 4:06 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would say that it depends on if she is a calmer toddler that can sit there quietly, or is she one of the loud and full of energy types (that would probably not help the mourners feel better.).
    wenona_mandy

    Answer by wenona_mandy at 4:35 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I would think about what your great grandmother would have wanted. I'm fairly certain that all of mine would have wanted the little ones in the family there. Most people understand that you may need to get up and walk out to care for your young ones so just try to sit in the back towards an isle so you can leave with the most ease and least distraction. In general (with the exception of child funerals) having little ones around offers mourners some comfort in their time of grief reminding them that while someone they loved has passed they are still alive in their families. Little ones remind them of the continuation, joy, and hope in life. This doesn't take away from a funeral which will be sad no matter what but it does at least bring some joy and comfort to the people there. At 22 months your child should be able to keep moderately entertained with minimal help. Pack books, color crayons or other quiet activities.
    -Cassandra-

    Answer by -Cassandra- at 5:08 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I take my kids. It is their right to be there too. I don't see the point in sheltering them from death.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 5:24 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I had my 2 toddlers at my grandmother's funeral. Everyone I knew in town was there. We brought some snacks and things for them to do quietly. It really was ok. Well, until they started to argue over whose waffle was whose. DH took care of it quickly, and I think it kind of relieved some tension, at least for me. Grandma would have wanted them there; she completely adored them.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 5:31 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

  • I have had to do this 4 times in the last 2 years and each time I've left my son at home. I knew he would not be able to sit thru a service and I wanted to be able to take the time I needed to grieve and be with family without having to keep an eye out for an active child.
    sandbuster

    Answer by sandbuster at 6:01 PM on Oct. 27, 2010

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